Second Chance at Love
by chocoluvr
Summary: After suffering at Death Eater's hands after Neville Longbottom defeat of Voldemort, Lily becomes responsible for James's care. In the aftermath, Severus Snape comes in as a good friend to help her in this trying time and that friendship grows. AU sto
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note/Disclaimer**: I don't own Harry Potter. This is the edited version of the first chapter.

* * *

In August of 1981, Lily Potter was getting ready to put her young son to bed, while her husband waited for her at the kitchen table with their fake passports, airline tickets, and identification cards lying on the table. After Lily had put Harry down for the night, she joined her husband in the kitchen 

"Lils, I've decided that I don't want to go to the States and be seen as a coward by everyone,. Frank and Alice aren't leaving; I don't see why we have to," James told her.

"I don't know what they're doing to protect Neville, but Severus risked his neck for us by warning us that Voldemort thinks that Harry is the one who is going to beat him, not Neville. I wonder why he'd think that, since Harry's only a half -blood and the Longbottoms are one of the oldest pure blooded families around;, plus, both of them are Aurors, which would make Neville the better candidate though. I wouldn't want to see any of them dead, since I'm tired of this killing over blood purity, with some pure bloods thinking that they're superior to Mmuggle borns like me," Lily told her husband.

"Well, I'm still not going, since I don't trust anything that Snape says anyway,. Besides, if I stay here, then I could go into hiding which would throw Voldemort off on Harry's location. Besides, if you're traveling alone with a baby, it would be easier to hide, since Voldemort probably has his followers looking for a family traveling out of the country, not a single mumsince you could pass yourself as a widow," James reasoned with her.

"Well, I still want you to come with us. What do you think he'll do to you if somehow they manage to come here and find out that Harry isn't here? Do you think that he will just leave quietly and go to the Longbottoms.? He'll kill you first, and I don't know what I'll do without you," Lily pleaded with her husband.

"I'm not going to take anything from Severus, not even a plane ticket to get away from here and to a safe haven. Dumbledore could just as well make us safe here, and besides, Snape wants to keep you safe, not me and Harry," James insisted, pounding his fist on the kitchen table to emphasize how serious he was.

"James, that isn't true, if he didn't want to keep us all safe he wouldn't have spent his hard earned money on those plane tickets to get us out of the country. I see what you're saying, but it was Sirius who found us a place to stay with his cousin's Muggle relations in the States, even if they are related to him by marriage. So we'll be living as Muggles until it's safe for us to come home. Besides, right now the best thing that we can do for the war effort is to keep Harry safe, not to fight right now no matter where we are," Lily reasoned with him.

"Fine, you can take him, but I'll stay here," James insisted.

"Fine, but you do know that I'll always come back for you and will be there for you," Lily reassured her husband.

"I know, but I still don't like the fact that we're going to be separated for an indefinite period of time, no matter for whatever reason," James told her.

"I hope that you understand what you're doing,. I'll hate to be a 21 year old widow," Lily told him.

"I can't promise you that I won't die, but if I do die, I would want you to find someone else who can make you as happy as I have," James told her, sounding a bit sad as he said the last part realizing that there was a possibility that he could lose his life.

"You know that there will never be anyone else for me," Lily reassured him.

"Well, let's spend our last night, here together instead of fighting. I do understand your need to be here, even if I feel that Harry and I need to be somewhere else," Lily told her husband as she motioned for him to join her in their bedroom.

James followed her there, to give his wife a proper send-off before she left in the morning for who- knowsew how long, with Harry sleeping soundly in the nursery.

* * *

November 1, 1981 

Lily Potter had opened up the latest edition of the wizarding newspaper that she had picked up from the wizarding village that she visited only once a day so that she could catch up on the news from home. The headline got her attention as it meant that she could return home very soon:

**Voldemort Gone: Defeated By a Tiny Tot**

The news of the celebrations that occurred soon after Neville had defeated Voldemort disgusted Lily, since they were celebrating the fact that two people had died and left their little boy orphaned. She knew the Longbottoms from Order meetings and she had gotten to know Alice better when both of them were pregnant, even letting their little boys play together after they were born. She knew in her heart that they were celebrating You Know Who's downfall, but it was still revolting to her.

A few days later, just one day before she was supposed to leave for England, a few days later the headlines read that another Auror washad been found missing from his home the next morning, where he washad been living alone, and that his name couldn't be released until his family was notified. Lily looked read the headline and thought that it was tragic that anyone could do this, even after You Know Who was defeated. She got to the airport with Harry, waiting to meet her husband after being separated from him for almost three months, and to tell him about the new addition that they would have in their family in about six months. When she arrived at Heathrow Airport, she was greeted by two of their good friends, Remus Lupin and Sirius Black.

"Where's James?, I thought that I had told him the time and date that I was arriving so that I could meet him here. Oh, is he out looking for that missing Auror, and he can't come to meet me?. I can't wait to see him after being away from him in so long, plus I can't wait to tell him my news, even though Harry knows, but I want to wait until after I tell James to tell you, though you'll find out eventually," Lily demanded her friends to tell her why James wasn't there to meet her while both Remus and Sirius looked uncertain as to how to break it to her that James was the missing Auror..

Both Remus and Sirius looked at her with pity and moved to an area in the airport where they could break the news to her in a more private setting.

"Lily, James is the Auror who's been missing for the two days, and its not looking good for him right now. but everyone in Law Enforcement and even the surviving members of the Order are out there looking for him," Remus told her gently.

At that news, Lily just broke into tears, with Harry wondering why his mum was upset and why two of the guys that he saw as his uncles had made her upset. As a result he began to wail too, with Remus trying to comfort Lily and Sirius calming down Harry.

After Lily regained some of her composure, she asked, "Where's Peter,? Don't tell me that he's been kidnapped too?"

"We don't know, Little Flower; we haven't seen much of hims since the Longbottom's' deaths,. Ttheir deaths seemed to have hit him hard, but as far as we know, he hasn't been kidnapped either," Sirius answered her, trying to sound reassure herring, though he had his suspicions about him. He didn't want to voice them in front of her since she just had learned that her husband was missing.

A few minutes later, a red headed man entered their private space with Lily's bags in hand, looking around excitedly as if he was a child in a candy shop.

"Did you see so many wonderful inventions here?, wWhy, her bags here were on a rotating circular thing that appeared to be moving on its own. In spite of that, I was able to get your bags for you, Lily, though I'm sorry to hear about your husband. I know how my wife felt when her brothers died," Arthur told her.

"Who are you?" Lily asked, sounding irritated with his cheerfulness in this somber time.

"Lily, I want you to meet Arthur Weasley, Molly's husband and the Prewiett twin's' brother in law," Remus introduced her.

"Arthur, I know that you volunteered to meet Lily at the airport because of your fascination with Mmuggle things, but keep your displays of enthusiasm to a minimum, since she's going through a rough time right now," Remus reprimanded him.

"I know, but I can't help myself. , but I'll try to remember that we're still looking for her husband, though he could still be alive, but being around all of these Muggle inventions is just too exciting," Arthur replied, looking remorseful as he said this.

'I'm sure you wouldn't be too excited to be here, if it was Molly who was gone and left you alone with all of your kids, especially the twins," Remus reminded him.

"Probably not," Arthur replied looking a little bit defeated.

"You do know that you're supposed to take her things over to Godric's Hollow while Remus takes Harry to your house, and I'm taking Lily to Auror headquarters for her to find out more about James's whereabouts," Sirius told Arthur.

After that, Sirius took Lily over to the Ministry, where they found out that they didn't have any new leads on James's whereabouts. and she feared that he was dead, even though they did try to keep her hopes up at Auror headquarters.

A few days later, she had received an owl from St. Mungo's that let her know that James had been found, but washad been admitted to the hospital for injuries that were sustained during his days in captivity. As soon as she heard the news, she flooed Molly the good news and asked her to baby-sit Harry for her while she went to St. Mungo's to see her husband, whom she hadn't seen in a few months. Of course Molly agreed, and Lily sent Harry to stay with the Weasleys until she had gotten back. , sShe hoped that James would be able to come home soon. When she arrived at St. Mungo's, the Healer in charge of James's case took her aside and told her about James's condition.

"Mrs. Potter, I'm afraid to inform you that your husband has survived the worst torture possible in the wizarding world. It appears as if he was tortured with the Cruciatus Curse multiple times, so now he is in a comatose state where we don't know if he'll ever wake up. If he does wake up, then Hhis brain suffered so much irreparable damage from the torture that if he does wake up, he won't be able to live on his own, and that he would be institutionalized for the rest of his life," the Healer informed her, trying to sound as sympathetic as possible.

"Do you know who would do this to him?" Lily asked.

"No, I don't, but one of the Aurors on the case should be able to give you more information," the Healer answered her.

Just then, Sirius Black came into the area, followed by Alastor Moody,. "I want to know, did you catch whoever was responsible for this? Because if you have, I want them to rot in Azkaban for the rest of their lives," Lily demanded.

"I don't know if you're ready for this, but the news is going to hit the papers tomorrow so you'll at least find out from them," Sirius told her in an understanding tone.

"The ones that we have caught are Bellatrix Lestrange,Rodolphus Lestrange, Rabastan Lestrange, Barty Crouch Jr, and Peter Pettigrew. From what Sirius has told me, was that after you and Harry left, James had put the house under the Fidelius Charm with Peter as the Secret Keeper. Peter was the one who led the others to James's house because they thought that James somehow knew where Voldemort was and that he could lead them to him," Moody broke the news to her as gently as possible.

"I can believe the others, but Peter! I thought that he was our friend;, how could he do something like this?" Lily exclaimed sounding shocked that one of their friends could do something like this to them..

"Sometimes the want for power can cause someone to betray their friends," Moody answered her trying to reason with Lily , with Sirius looking like he wanted to punch something, like the wall, to let out his anger.

"Well, I'm going to stay here until James wakes up," Lily exclaimed.

"Fine, but I hope that you take care of yourself, if not for you, then for your baby's sake. I can't believe that Harry will soon have a little brother or sister," Sirius told her sounding concerned for both her and her unborn child.

Since he had been told about the new baby the day before, after Lily brokehad broken down and finally told him about it,. but she had made him promise not to tell James that he had been told first, when James was found.

"Yes, I know to take care of myself, since I want this baby, since this will be the last one of James's that I will have. Sirius, Harry is over at the Weasley's. I want you to go over there after you get off from work and let them know what's going on. You do have the key to our house, so I want you and Remus to stay there and watch Harry for me while I'm here," Lily told them.

"We can do that for a few days, but I don't want you to get your hopes up yet, Lily Flower,. There is but on one condition: that I bring Harry over here once a day to see his mum and dad. Plus it wouldwill give me a chance to check up on you," Sirius told her.

"That's fine," Lily replied.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Harry Potter.

* * *

As soon as Lily arrived at St. Mungo's, she was shown to the ward where James washad been brought in earlier in the day. She started telling James all about her and Harry's lives in America while pleading with him to wake up. Over the next few days, Sirius and Remus abided by their promise and brought Harry with them to visit his parents and to bring his mum dinner, since the day shift Healers were kind enough to give her breakfast and lunch every day when they came in to check on James. One day, Remus took Lily aside to talk about the possibilities with Lily.

"Lils, I know that you want to be there for James, but you have Harry to look after too, not to mention yourself in your condition. I know that I've already accepted the possibility that James may not ever wake up, and even though Sirius is in denial about it, he is still out there living his own life. All that you've been doing for the past few days is sitting here at the hospital with James and only paying attention to Harry when we've brought him here to see you. I mean, even the Healers have even told you that there isn't much hope for James's recovery. I don't even know how much sleep that you've been getting, but it hasn't been much, which can't be good for the baby. I mean, you do want the baby don't you? Plus, I've been talking to Sirius, and we agreed that if you don't come home soon then we won't bring Harry here to visit," Remus told her, trying to sound gentle, though he had to convey a hard truth to her.

"Of course I want the baby ; how dare you think of something like that. How could you deny me my time with Harry when James needs me here?" Lily replied, sounding offended and angry that her husband's two best friends would even try to keep her child from her.

"It's not that James needs you, but Harry is here, and you could miss him growing up with you sitting vigil at James's bed every day and night. He needs you too, plus you can't sit here forever. You need to live your life, and you can't do that here," Remus told her.

"If he's not awake by tomorrow when you come by, then I'll come with you, since I'll probably need to check on muggle doctors to see what they can do to help him," Lily answered Remus sounding hopeful that the muggle doctors could help him..

"Then I'll give you until tomorrow, and if you need to look at other means of treatment, then do it," Remus answered her, relieved that he was able to finally convince Lily to come home with them. Tm, even though he didn't think that a mMuggle doctor could help James, but if that's what it took in order to get her to come home, then he and Sirius could go along with it.

A few minutes later, Sirius came out of James's hospital room with Harry in his arms. Lily reached out to grab her son and to spend time with him, while Sirius went over to Remus to find out how his talk with Lily had gone.

"When is Lily coming home?" Sirius asked, sounding concerned for their friend. "Tomorrow evening after our daily visit, she'll come home and of course, St. Mungo's will contact her if there are's been any changes in James's condition," Remus answered. "Good, Harry's been missing his mum. She needs to spend more time with him, and not just James," Sirius answered him.

"There's one thing, though,; if he doesn't get any better, than she wants to have him checked out by a Mmuggle doctor," Remus told his friend, fearing his reaction about it.

"What do you mean? What do they know about James condition, since he was hit with a very painful curse.? They don't understand how these curses from our world work. They'd kill him, or worse even open up his head," Sirius answered him.

"Well, if it makes Lily feel hopeful about James and gets her to come home, I'm for it. Who knows, maybe one of those doctors could help him get better, even if they have to open up his head for it," Remus answered him trying to sound as gentlye as possible to diffuse Sirius's temper.

Just then, Harry toddled over to them with Lily behind him, which caused the two friends to stop their conversation.

"I suppose that Remus has already told you that I'm coming home tomorrow, and that I'm looking for a second opinion on James's condition," Lily told Sirius, sounding a little bit defeated though she still had a little bit of hope for James's recovery.

"Did you hear that, little one?, Mummy is going home tomorrow, but you'll still have to visit daddy here, for now, but he'll soon get to come home with us," Lily told her son as Sirius and Remus were getting ready to leave, while she was hoped that would be true and that James would be able to come home with them again. and what she told Harry was true.

Though she knew that Sirius and Remus would help her raise Harry and the new baby if anything should happen to James, but she didn't want to lose James and never have him come home again. She didn't want to never have him tell her that he loved her again, and she didn't want to sleep alone without him next to her. After Sirius and Remus left, Lily decided to tell James about the new baby, hoping that would help him to wake up before she left to go home the next day. Before she went to bed, she even put James's hand on her stomach, so that he could feel the baby moving.

The next morning when she woke up, there was no change in James's condition, but when Sirius and Remus came by with Harry, James finally opened up his eyes after being in a coma for a week. Lily ran out into the hall to flag down a Healer when she saw James opening his eyes. When the Healer came into the room, he requested that Lily leave the room so that he could examine him. After James's examination, the Healer came to get Lily and took her to his office, where he updated Lily on James's condition. Michael, the Healer who had just examined James, looked at Lily and felt sorry for her, and for what she was going to have to go through until James's death.

"Well, now that he's awake, he'll get better soon and come home with us where he belongs?" Lily asked, sounding hopeful about her husband's condition.

"Unfortunately, he isn't responding to stimuli like we would like to see in someone who's just woken up from a coma. and from the result of the prolonged exposure to the Cruciatus Curse, the chances of him ever making a complete recovery are very slim," Michael told her.

"But he'll be able to go home eventually, wouldn'twon't he?" Lily asked sounding hopeful..

"I'm afraid that he'll need a lot of care, more than what you can provide for him at home. We do have a ward for patients who require long term care like your husband. Do you want him to stay here, or do you wish to make other arrangements for him?," Michael asked her.

"Will I be able to have a muggle doctor examine him here, or do I need to move him to a muggle hospital?" Lily asked, sounding hopeful that the muggle ways were better in dealing with cases like James.

"Unfortunately, we don't have the ability for a Muggle doctor to examine James here, even if he was a squib and could see the hospital., so you'll need to move him to a muggle hospital to have him examined, since they have the equipment there that they would need to examine him. I hope that they can give you better answers than we can here, but you will always have the option to return here if you don't find the answers that you're looking for," Michael answered her.

"Then when I go home today I'll find one of the best Muggle doctors to examine James to see if there's anything that can be done for him," Lily replied, sounding defiant.

At Lily's response, Michael told her the St. Mungo's procedure to transfer a patient to another hospital, though James didn't need to have his memory modified. though but Lily would need to tell them that he had gotten his injury in a muggle way, like a car crash.

Lily left the Healer's office, determined to make James better, no matter what it took., she didn't even care if it was by either muggle or magical means; she just wanted her husband back.

"Well then, I want to sign those papers right now, if you don't mind," Lily told Michael.

"Fine, I have them right here,. how soon do you want him transferred?" Michael asked her while she was signing the transfer papers.

"Tonight, after Harry comes to visit his dad, plus, James's friends have a right to know what I plan on doing with him," Lily answered, sounding determined.

"That's fine. T that will give us time to make the transfer arrangements with St. Mark's," Michael answered her.

"Great, then when our friends and Harry get here, I'll let him know about it," Lily told him as she walked out of his office.

She was feeling hopeful that James would eventually get to come home and not live out the rest of the days in that hospital, as had been predicted earlier by the Healers.

Later that day when Remus, Sirius and Harry came by to visit James, Lily met them and let them know that James had woken up, but that his prognosis doesn't look good. She let them know that she was transferring him to a muggle hospital for tests.

"Why would you do something like that for?" Sirius asked Lily after he heard the news.

"With him waking up, it means that he's getting better doesn't it? I was fine with it while he was still in a coma to get him to wake up, but why now?" Sirius asked Lily after he heard the news.

"Just because he's woken up doesn't automatically mean that he'll get better and come home," Lily told him, sounding annoyed at his question.

"What do you mean? Isn't that what you want? For him to wake up,? of course it's going to take some time for him to recover, but he'll come home eventually; you don't need to take him to a muggle doctor who'll probably cut him up," Sirius reassured her.

"You don't know anything, Sirius. Do you know what that Healer told me in there?" Lily screamed at Sirius.

Sirius just looked around as if someone could tell him the answer.

"They told me that he would stay like that for the rest of his life; even if he does get better he'd still require long term care. I want to give him the chance to know his own son and unborn child, and if he stays here he won't. Besides, they've already moved him upstairs, and I don't know if you've even noticed the other patients there are not aware of their surroundings, and some of them even have to have nappies changed, just like a baby. There are quite a few of them who've been injured like James and they don't even know their own families. I want to at least look our children in the face and honestly tell them that I've done everything in my power to make their daddy better," Lily told him looking tired but tiredly. She left going in with Harry to visit with James, leaving both Sirius and Remus out in the hallway.

When Sirius looked at Remus to agree with him that Lily's idea was ridiculous, Remus told him, "I agree with her, that for Harry and his baby brother or sister, that we need to do everything that we need to do to make James better, and if it means looking to other means of treatment, thaen fine."

Then he lowered his voice and added, "Sometimes I wished there were alternatives for me to be cured of my little problem, besides, it's Lily's decision, not ours."

"Fine," Sirius replied while handing Harry off to his mother while he went in to visit James with Remus. going to James's room, following Lily and Harry.

When he got there, he was shocked to see his best friend just staring into space and not even acknowledging his presence.

"James, don't you recognize me? ItsIt's me, your best friend Sirius;, can't you at least make some sort of sign that you recognize me,?" Sirius pleaded with his friend, while James just continued to stare straight at both him and Remus, who entered the room behind Sirius with no sign of recognition.

"It won't do any good to plead with him; one of the Healers told me that he's been was like that ever since he woke up," Remus told Sirius while trying to hide his disappointment from James.

"At least Lily is willing to do everything in her power to make you better and for you to go home with her and Harry soon. I guess that Lily told you about her pregnancy and how she's looking forward to you coming home," Sirius told his friend while trying not to appear upset in front of his friends about James's condition.

When Sirius and Remus left St. Mungo's with Lily and Harry, it was the first time in a week, that Lily spent the night at home and not in the hospital. It was the first time that she was able to tell Remus her plans of having James examined by a Muggle doctor.

"That's a good idea to get a second opinion on his condition; at least we'll be able to tell Harry and his sibling that we tried everything to make their dad better," Remus told his friend.

"Fine, but what are we going to do if the muggles can't heal him?" Sirius asked, looking worried.

"We'll come to that later, but wouldn't you rather have everything that could be possibly be done for James to be done, and it could reassure us that everything was done for him," Remus answered his friend, trying to reason with him.

"Fine, but I really hope that the muggles can make him better so that he can come home rather than live at the hospital for the rest of his days," Sirius answered him.

Just then, Harry finally got away from his mum looking for his two uncles,. Finding them, he asked, "doggy," he told them, requesting that Sirius turn into a dog for him, which he did.

Then Remus went over to see how Lily was doing her first night away from James in a week. "How are you holding up, being away from him for the first time since you've come back from the States?" Remus asked her.

"Pretty well, considering," Lily replied, looking like she could just fall asleep at any minute.

"That's good; do you think that you could handle it if James was going to be like that for the rest of his life?" Remus asked her, trying to get her to consider the possibility.

"I could, especially knowing that I've done everything for him," Lily replied.

"That's good, because I would worry if the muggle doctors can't get him back to normal. , I understand what you're going through, because I would do almost anything to be able to live a normal life, without the prejudices and the transformations that I experience," Remus told her.

"I know all of that, but I want to know if there's something more that could be done for James. I mean I would feel horrible if there was something else that we could do for him and we didn't do it, because of it being a muggle method. I wonder how Sirius is doing with Harry," Lily told him while she went into the living room to see how her son and friend were doing.

"Mama "Mummy, look doggie," Harry told her, pointing to Sirius, who was still in dog form and entertaining Harry with his antics.

"Yes, I see the doggie, darling," Lily replied to her son, giving Sirius a look that meant that she wanted him to transform back.

When Sirius transformed back, Harry was disappointed that his godfather changed back to a human and wasn't a dog anymore. Lily immediately got him to play with his blocks in order to keep his attention away from Sirius.

"So I see that you transform at the whims of a one year old," Lily teased Sirius, which he took in good nature since it was the first time that he'd even seen her joke around since she found out about James's attack.

"Well, since you've been gone this past week, it keeps him from missing his mummy, though you didn't have to spend all of your time with James this week;, you also have Harry to think about as well. Besides, even if James does get better, from what I saw it could be a very long time before he could go back to work, have you even decided about going back to St. Mungo's as a Healer like you did before?" Sirius asked Lily out of concern for his best friend's wife.

"Well there was one time while James was being examined that I did inquire about going back, and they're ready to take me back as soon as I'm ready. Since I've been gone for less than a year, I don't need to take any refresher courses, though I'll need to follow a more senior Healer around for a few months," Lily replied to Sirius's question, hoping that she sounded more confident than the way that she felt.

"Well, when do you go back to work, and what do you plan to do with Harry once you're there? How will you handle your maternity leave?" Sirius asked sounding concerned with Lily's and Harry's wellbeing.

"I won't go back until after James has seen the Muggle doctor for a second opinion, but I've got a couple of leads on people who would be willing to watch him for me while I'm at work., one of them is Molly Weasley, who has a son around Harry's age. They'll handle my maternity leave very well, plus I'll go back to work as soon as I can. They're being very understanding of my situation with James," Lily answered him, right before she gave Harry a kiss goodnight and went up to bed for the evening.

After she left, both Sirius and Remus hoped that she knew what she was doing and that she wouldn't be too disappointed with the results.

A few days later, Lily had her worst fears confirmed by the Muggle doctors, that there was nothing that could cure James;, the only thing that they could promise her was that they could refer him to a couple of Muggle long term care facilities where he would receive different muggle therapies, but he would probably live there for the rest of his life. That's why Lily was in Diragon Alley at Flourstan'sFlorean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor, drowning her sorrows in a very large hot fudge sundae when an old friend of hers found her there.

"What's wrong? Why aren't you either at home with Harry or at the hospital with Potter?" he asked her, sounding concerned about her.

"I just came from the muggle hospital where I had James examined by them and they told me that there is a very slim chance that James wouldwill ever be able to lead a normal life. The only thing that they can do for him would be to provide him with therapy to at least help him do basic tasks; well, he can do that at St. Mungo's. He's returning there later on today, and it's more than likely he'll die in there. I don't know how to tell Sirius, Remus and even Harry that James won't ever be coming home again, so I'm here delaying the inevitable and feeling sorry for myself, Severus," Lily confided to Severus Snape.

"Come on, I'll escort you home to make sure that you get there and to help you face Black, Lupin and even Harry," Snape offered to Lily as he took her arm and he escorted her to the Leaky Cauldron so that they could floo to Lily's house, where he would help her tell James's friends about his hopeless prognosis.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Harry Potter.

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**Author's Note**: Here is the unedited version of chapter 3.

* * *

A few minutes later both Severus and Lily arrived at Lily's house Remus looked at her and knew that the muggle doctors couldn't do much for James. Lucky for Severus, Sirius was still at work, and wasn't due home for a couple of hours, though Remus was grateful that his old school nemesis was considerate enough to bring Lily home in her state. As soon as Harry saw his mum coming in the door, he toddled over to her where she immediately gave him a big hug and she started crying when she saw her son.

"Mummy hurt?" Harry asked her.

"No sweetie, but it looks like its going to be a very long time before daddy can come home to us and that makes mummy sad," Lily told her son.

"Thanks for bringing her home Severus, we can take care of things from here," Remus told him hoping that he would leave before Sirius would come home, because he knew that the last thing that Lily needed was to referee between Sirius and Severus.

"He's not going to get any better, he's going to spend the rest of his life locked up in some institution somewhere and he'll never truly get to know his children," Lily suddenly said before she broke into tears again.

"Well, you never could tell they might be able to find a treatment for him in the future where he could come home to us," Remus told her trying to sound as reassuring as possible.

Just then Sirius burst into the door coming straight from work, but when he took one look at Remus and Lily he knew that something was wrong.

"Is it James, is he dead?" Sirius asked not wanting to hear about his condition.

"No, but the muggle doctors just told Lily that James would probably stay that way for the rest of his life," Remus informed Sirius.

"I told you that I was afraid that this would happen, that the muggles couldn't cure James," Sirius told Lily who immediately turned to him at hearing those words.

"I don't need to hear I told you so right now," she answered back while taking Harry upstairs for his afternoon nap.

"What did you go ahead and say something like that for?" Remus asked Sirius once he was out of earshot.

"Well, I was trying to let her know that the wizarding ways are best," Sirius answered him.

"Well, she doesn't need to hear that right now. At least she's tried everything to make him better. How would you feel if you found out that there was a muggle treatment that could cure James and she didn't pursue it because of it being a muggle way. I know that if they had a way to cure my furry little problem I would take it," Remus reasoned with Sirius.

"Fine, but I don't see the point in her going to those muggle doctors anyway since they couldn't help James," Sirius replied.

"It reassured her that she did everything for James anyway," Remus replied sounding frustrated that his friend didn't get what he was saying.

Just then Lily came down the stairs and the two of them ended their conversation. "I'm sorry for telling you that I told you so earlier, I guess I would do the same thing since I would want James to get better," Sirius apologized to Lily.

"Well then I accept your apology and I know that you want James to be completely cured, even though that won't happen," Lily told him right before he left to go to his own flat.

"Do you think that you'll be fine here by yourself or do you need me to spend the night with you and Harry?" Remus asked her while looking empathetic to her plight.

"You could stay the night if you want to, though I don't think that I would need it," Lily answered him.

"I think that I better, considering the state that you were in when Severus brought you home," Remus told her.

"Thanks, for staying with me but you'll have to go home eventually," Lily reminded him.

"I know, but I want you to know that Sirius and I will always be here for you, of course I'll be able to be here more than Sirius with my employment situation and all," Remus reassured her.

"I know that you'll be able to find a job soon, what a minute with me going back to work I'll need someone to take care of Harry and the new baby when he or she arrives. Sometimes muggles hire nannies to take care of their children during the day why don't you do it. Don't worry about the money James left me enough to hire someone to watch the children during the day, even his visits to the muggle doctors there is enough to pay you to take care of them," Lily told him sounding excited at the last part of it, knowing how she could help Remus and have one of her concerns taken care of.

"Wait a minute; I don't want you to do this because you feel sorry for me. Though I would love to be able to take care of your children during the day, but if I do it, I want to know if you're doing it because you want to not out of pity or anything," Remus told her.

"I do want you to do it, besides with my job as a Healer there will be times where I would work nights and finding childcare is harder to find at night anyway. Then you can stay here while I'm on nights, but its too early to decide that now since I don't know when I'll be going back to work, but promise me that you'll think about it," Lily answered him.

"I promise that I would think about it, but I can't guarantee anything, besides I better let Sirius know that I'm spending the night here, so that he won't worry about me," Remus told her.

"Well, then go ahead and do it or else he might think that you've been abducted by Death Eaters," Lily told him as she went up to her room.

Remus then went to the Potter's fireplace to floo Sirius to let him know that he was alright and that he was spending the night to make sure that Lily and Harry were fine, though he didn't mention to him that Lily had asked him to care for the children while she was at work and visited James on her own. He did think seriously about the position, since he wasn't able to find steady work since Hogwarts, though he didn't want Lily to think of him as a charity case. Though the opportunity to spend time with Lily's children would be good for him, as it was when Harry was little.

Meanwhile back at Hogwarts, the Potions Master and the Headmaster were discussing Lily's predicament.

"Is it true what they're saying about James Potter, that he won't ever recover from the torture that he received?" Dumbledore asked the potions master, Severus Snape.

"That's what Lily told me after I found her in a terrible state in Dragon Alley yesterday. It seemed to upset her so much, it was all that I could do to walk her home," Snape answered the Headmaster.

"Well, I guess that you still have feelings for her, but I want you to remember that she's still married to James and I don't want you trying to persuade her to get a divorce. Right now she needs a friend to help her with these trying times, not a lover," Dumbledore told him.

"Fine, but I want to be there for here even though she's got Black and Lupin helping her out, especially with Harry," Snape answered him.

"Yes, I know that but right now she needs all of the friends that she can get," Dumbledore replied.

"Well at least, I'll like for you to know that I would be there for her in these trying times, no matter what the personal cost would be," Severus reassured him.

"Good, I hope that you know that includes you being civil to Sirius Black too," Dumbledore answered him.

"Fine I can learn to be civil around him and even Lupin if it means that I get to be close to her I can even be civil to James and Harry too," Severus replied.

"Good, then you won't be bothering her or Harry," Dumbledore answered him. "I can at least try to get along with James's friends and to be Lily's friend," he answered Dumbledore before he turned around to leave the Headmaster's office thinking of getting back into Lily Evans Potter's life even just as a friend even though he hoped that it would eventually grow into something more. As Severus Snape left the room Dumbledore hoped that he wouldn't get his hopes up too much about Lily, but that he could be a comfort for her in these trying times.

Later on that day, Severus decided to pay Lily a visit to see how she was handling things and when he arrived at her house he was surprised when Sirius Black answered the door.

"What are you doing here? Here to gloat about James's downfall isn't you," Sirius asked him in a gruff tone of voice.

"I'm here to see Lily, not to gloat about James," Severus told him in a somber tone of voice.

"I don't believe you," Sirius told him.

"Sirius who's at the door?" Lily asked coming into the foyer with Harry playing close by in the playpen.

She smiled when she saw Severus at the door and motioned him to come in much to Sirius's disappointment. "I wanted to thank you for bringing me home yesterday since I didn't feel too much like facing everyone with the news that I had received," Lily told Severus while he looked pleased at her gratitude while Sirius glared at Severus.

"Fine, but I still don't trust him around you, Harry and your unborn child," Sirius told her.

"Lily, you're pregnant with Harry's little brother or sister?" Severus asked.

"Yes and this child is the only good thing that's happened to us in the past year. I'll love it enough for me and James put together," Lily answered him looking proud as she said it.

"Well, I hope that he or she turns out to be like you since Harry looks so much like James," Severus told her sincerely meaning it.

"Well thank you, but I'll love it no matter whom it looks like," Lily reminded him.

Severus secretly hoped that the new baby would look more like Lily, since he didn't want to be reminded any further of the boy who had tormented him all throughout school, but is now a permanent resident of St. Mungo's.

If he wanted to get close to Lily, then he couldn't rub that fact in Sirius's and Remus's faces, so he bit his tongue about James's condition. "Do you need any help around here?" Severus asked hoping that he could help her in some way.

"Well, I guess that you can watch Harry while we go visit James in hospital when we go without him seeing his father or when the new baby will be born," Lily answered him sounding surprised at how helpful Snape sounded while Sirius asked to speak to Lily in the study alone.

"Do you think that you can trust Harry with him?" Sirius asked sounding distrustful of his old school enemy.

"Yes, don't forget that if it weren't for him I don't know what would happen to me and Harry, I could be in that hospital ward with Harry and you could be the one taken care of Harry," Lily reminded him.

"What did he do? I remember being the one sending you off to live with Ted's muggle relations for a while and for some reason James didn't go," Sirius asked her.

"Well Severus was the one who bought us the plane tickets to go there out of his money that he saved for a long time from his teaching salary, but you didn't even give us a way to get there. James didn't go because he didn't want to be in debt to Severus for the rest of his life. He wouldn't even be like that if he had swallowed his pride and left with us," Lily informed him.

"Fine, but if anything ever happens to either Harry or the new baby while he baby sits for them, I will come after him personally and he will die a slow painful death," he answered her knowing that if he put up too much of a fuss about it that she would not let him see Harry as often as he would like. Lily was satisified that Harry would have three people helping her raise Harry now with Severus's help.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Harry Potter.

**Author's Note**: I'm sorry for not updating sooner, but I will post the next chapter in a few days too.

* * *

May, 1982

"So will I get to be the godfather of this child too, whenever it pops out?" Sirius asked Lily.

"When it pops out, children don't just pop out, haven't you learned anything after Harry's birth and yes I would like to make both you and Remus godparents of this child," Lily answered him sounding annoyed that Sirius still thought that babies still popped out of their mother without any effort at all.

"Well, at least Remus will be there with you if it doesn't come on a full moon night, since he went to those classes with you," Sirius told her sounding like he was both jealous and proud of his friend at the same time.

"You know that Remus has been helping me with Harry and he'll help out with the new baby too. Well, at least you're now starting to being civil to Snape and accepting his place in our lives," Lily reminded her husband's best friend.

Sirius looked relieved at that last part until Remus arrived after playing with Harry for a while. A few minutes later, they heard Lily scream as if she were in pain, and when they got to her they found her clutching her stomach as if she were in pain.

"I think that I'm in labor. I need to go to the hospital," Lily told the two men who both suddenly seemed suddenly interested in being helpful while Lily whinced in pain.

"How do you know if you're in labor?" Sirius asked.

"Well, I felt like this right before Harry was born. I've already had one child in case you haven't forgotten, Harry didn't come from the sky you know," Lily replied to him right when she was going to the fireplace to get ready to floo to St. Mungo's.

Of course Remus grabbed her overnight case while Sirius was left to watch Harry and to wait patiently for word from the hospital. Sirius considered asking Snape to see if he would watch Harry while he went to the hospital to wait, but he quickly decided against it since he didn't trust him to be anywhere near Harry. About an hour of waiting with no word, Sirius finally decided that he didn't want to wait in the Potter's house, so he finally decided to bit the bullet and ask Snape to come watch Harry, if he could get the time off from Hogwarts since he wanted to be there when Harry's new sibling was born like he was with him. Snape was surprised to hear that Lily had gone into labor and that Sirius actually wanted him to watch Harry while Sirius went to St. Mungo's. Of course since classes were over for the day at Hogwarts and since it was a Friday night, he didn't have classes the next day he went right over to Lily's house. When Snape arrived Sirius gave Harry a kiss goodbye and left him with Snape for the rest of the night. Snape had watched Harry before when Lily had to work and both Remus and Sirius were unavailable, so Sirius realized that he wouldn't try to harm Harry while he was gone.

Of course Sirius had to wait in the waiting area which he felt was better sitting there than waiting at Lily's house with Harry. While he was waiting for Lily to deliver her baby, he wondered into the long term care ward and went to James's bed.

"Well, Lily is getting ready to bring your child into this world, I don't know if you even knew that she was pregnant or not. Snape is watching Harry, but he's done a good job at watching him lately and I wanted to be here, so that was the only option open to me. Remus is in the room with Lily, since he took those child birthing classes with her because you couldn't be there. Remus has found himself a job, he's getting paid to watch Harry everyday while Lily goes to work. I know that I haven't been around a lot but I've been really busy with work and helping Lily out," Sirius told his friend who just stared at the wall with a blank look on his face.

"Oh bloody hell James, did you even understand what I just said or do you even care that Lily's having your child right now. Well, I'll bring your child by after he or she's born, though I don't know if you'll care or not," Sirius told his best friend right before leaving the room leaving James in the same condition that he was in.

When he arrived back at the waiting area for the labor and delivery part of St. Mungo's he realized that James would never get to know this new child like he had gotten to know Harry, even if it was just for a year. This realization made him angry that anyone could do anything like this; the bad part was that Lily would probably make the two children visit their father frequently. Sirius didn't want to think about how the children would react to seeing their father in such a state.

He didn't have time to think about it for too long, when Remus came out and was surprised to see him, "What are you doing here? Where's Harry?" Remus asked him sounding worried.

"Harry's fine he's with Snape, well I wanted to be here when his little brother or sister was born like I was with Harry," Sirius answered him.

"Well, since you're here Lily just had a girl, though she's not sure what to name her yet," Remus told her sounding proud of the new arrival.

"Well, I'm sure that James would be proud if he was able to be here and knowing what was going on," Sirius answered him with a bit of regret in his voice at the last part. "Well, I guess that you better go on to Lily's house after you see her and let Severus know that Harry has a little sister," Remus told Sirius.

"Are you coming too?" Sirius asked.

"Yes and then tomorrow we can bring Harry by to visit his new sister," Remus answered him sounding tired while leading Sirius to Lily's room.

When they entered her room, they saw her lying in bed with a little pink bundle lying beside her.

"Well, I hope that Harry's doing okay since I left him with you and hopefully he's not home all by himself," Lily answered him sounding concerned while Sirius was trying to get a new look at the new baby.

"Of course, Snape is watching him since he would do anything for you and I wanted to be here, I figured that he would be willing to watch Harry and I was right," Sirius reassured her.

"Well, then at least he's in capable hands," Lily replied sounding pleased that Severus and Sirius were at least starting to get along.

"Well, she's cute I'm sure that James would be proud if he could be here. Though speaking of James do you plan on showing her to him, even though he may not recognize her?" Sirius asked, curious on how his best friend would react to this tiny baby that he had helped to create.

"I do when the Healer gives the okay to visit him, though if I know you, you'll probably sneak her up there before the okays given," Lily answered him sounding concerned. "Well, then I guess we'll better go back to your house and let Snape know that Harry's got a baby sister. Do you know what you're going to name her yet?" Sirius asked sounding curious to see what the new baby's name would be.

"Well, I'm thinking about naming her Jamie, then again maybe Rose since that's a pretty name but I don't know right now," Lily answered the two of them.

"Well you better pick a name pretty soon, since they'll need to have a name to put on the birth certificate," Remus reasoned with her.

"I guess that I'll have to go with Jamie Rose for her father and maternal grandmother," Lily answered the two of them sounding tired.

"Well that sounds like two good names for Harry's sister, I'll better go by your house and relieve Snape from his duties and let them know what her name is," Remus told her just as he and Sirius were leaving the room.

When the two of them arrived at the Potter's house, they saw Snape asleep on the couch, with Harry in his crib fast asleep upstairs in the nursery. Sirius decided that he would be the one to wake Snape up and let him know that Lily had a girl.

"Hey we're back," Sirius alerted Snape who immediately got up from the couch and looked up at Sirius.

"Well, what did she have? When can I go see her and the baby?" Snape asked Sirius. "She had a girl named Jamie Rose and it's too late to see them tonight, though you can see them tomorrow if you're not doing anything else," Remus answered him sounding tired from the long night that he's just had while Sirius went upstairs to see how Harry was doing.

When he found that Harry was doing fine and was just sleeping, he came back downstairs.

"Well you can go home now since Lily has had her baby and that Harry is okay," Sirius told Snape in a gleeful voice, sounding glad to get Snape out of Lily's house.

"I'll go ahead and go, but I'll be there at the hospital to see Lily and the new baby Black. Hopefully she'll look more like her mother to make a perfect match," Snape informed him sounding smug as he said it.

"I don't know who she looks like, as long as she's healthy, besides what's wrong with a child looking like James?" Sirius asked him sounding offended that Snape would prefer the child to look like Lily.

"There's nothing wrong with Lily's child looking like James as long as she didn't inherit his arrogant attitude," Snape replied sounding hopeful.

"Your right, there's nothing wrong with it and anyway I would still love that child no matter who it looked like," Sirius answered him sounding offended that Snape would still insult his friend, no matter that he was still in the hospital and wouldn't truly get to know his own child.

"You don't remember that we were mean to Snape here, I'm sure that he doesn't want any of their children to be as cruel to others like we were," Remus stepped in defending Severus to Sirius.

"We weren't that bad," Sirius insisted.

"Yeah, well you were the one who nearly killed him and used me to do it," Remus reminded him of the time that Snape discoved his little secret.

"Hey, I didn't mean for him to really go down there," Sirius protested.

"Well, you were lucky that the only thing that happened to him was that he was scared and found out my little secret. If you don't remember after that little incident I didn't even talk to you for almost two months," Remus reminded him.

"Aw that was nothing, I mean no harm came from it right, besides now he's got a good job as the Hogwarts potionmaster.

"Right now, it doesn't make what we did as kids right but that is in the past and this is now," Remus reminded him while Snape went back to his quarters at Hogwarts during their banter eager to get to the hospital first thing in the morning to see how Lily and the baby were doing.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Harry Potter.

* * *

When Severus returned to Hogwarts he was excited at the prospect at seeing Lily and her new baby in hospital. The next morning he went to the florist in Dragon Alley before heading to the hospital to see Lily. He got a bouquet of lilies for Lily and an arrangement of flowers in a ceramic lamb for Jamie. Of course when he got to the hospital he asked the welcome witch in the front, which ward Lily Potter was in and went straight there. When he entered the ward he saw Lily nursing her new baby daughter and he immediately started to leave the room, until Lily motioned for him to come back in. "Don't worry I won't be too long, besides now you'll have a good look at both of us," she told him.

"Well, I got these for you and even something for the baby too," Severus told her handing her the bouquet of lilies and the flower arrangement.

"Well, thank you for being so thoughtful and thinking of the new baby too," Lily told him while he beamed at the compliment.

"Wow she's a beautiful baby and she looks just like you," Severus complimented Jamie. "I'm glad that you think so," Lily told him while Severus looked nervous around her. "Well, I've got to get back to school, but I just wanted to see you and the new baby," he told her sounding a little bit nervous.

"Well it was good seeing you and I hope that you plan on continuing to visit us, I've started to look forward to your visits," Lily told him as Severus was leaving.

"I will, I've enjoyed spending these past few months with you and Harry, even with Black and Lupin," he answered her as he went out the door, running into Sirius as he left. "Where's he going?" Sirius asked before noticing the flowers by Lily's bed.

"He had to go back to school, but here's little Jamie and yes she's doing fine. I assume that Remus will be bringing Harry by later on today to see his new baby sister," Lily answered him.

"Yes since Harry would want to see his baby sister and I believe that he's taking him to see James afterwards," Sirius answered her sounding a bit sad at the last part of his statement.

"Of course knowing you, you'll probably take Jamie to see him too. You do know that he may not realize who you or the kids are," Lily reminded him.

"I don't care, but he does have a right to see his kids. By the way who brought you those flowers, they look nice too bad I forgot to get you something," Sirius replied to her sounding defiant.

"Severus did," Lily answered him while Sirius tried to hide the look of jealousy from her.

"I don't care what you think of him, but I think that it was sweet of him to think of both the baby and I by bringing us flowers," Lily reprimanded him after noticing the scowl on Sirius's face that he was trying to hide.

"Fine, but don't come crying to me if he tries anything," Sirius told her right before he left the ward. "I can't believe that you're overreacting about this, besides he's happy about the new baby," Lily told him.

"Well, I guess that I'm going to have to tell James that he's got competition though I'm going to take Jamie up to see him," Sirius informed her while trying to keep the sadness out of his voice.

"I'm sure that you will as soon as the Healer okays it, since the Healers don't trust James in leaving his ward. If you tell him that Severus is interested in me, let me know how he reacts to the news. I hate to tell you but he probably wouldn't understand what you're trying to tell him," Lily told Sirius sounding resigned at her husband's condition.

"Great if you don't believe me, but I'll be back again after work to see how the two of you are doing and I might even swing by to see James too," Sirius told her.

A couple of hours later Remus came in her room carrying Harry who immediately held out his arms for his mum to pick him up as soon as he saw her. Lily then motioned to Remus who sat him down beside his mum in her bed.

"Well, Harry you have a little sister now whom you'll need to watch out for," Harry looked at his mum curiously.

"Well is Jamie in the nursery?" Remus asked Lily wondering where she was.

"Yes, but they'll bring her back in here later on today," Lily answered Remus's question. "Good, come on Harry let's go meet your new sister," Remus told him as he picked up Harry to take him to the nursery.

"Look Harry see that baby over there that's your sister," Remus told him pointing out Jamie to him. Harry just looked bored just being there and looking at the babies.

"Too bad that they won't let you go in there, but we'll come back later on when they'll bring her to your mum's room and then you'll be able to see her close up," Remus told Harry thinking that he looked bored because he couldn't see his new sister close up and touch her.

He then left the hospital with Harry to visit the shops in Dragon Alley in order for him to pick out a present for his sister. As soon as they went into the toy store Harry started to grab for one of the toy broomsticks that the store had on display, while Remus immediately tried to put his attention elsewhere. As soon as the two of them saw the soft toy display Harry was drawn to the stuffed snitch that they had, while Remus saw a stag that would hopefully remind Jamie that her daddy used to be something other than that guy who now lived in hospital. Of course Remus got Harry the toy snitch as a big brother present and Jamie got the stag as a birthday present. Harry was very happy with his gift and couldn't wait until he was home to play with it. As soon as he got home Remus gave him his new toy, while he decided to try to wrap Jamie's gift. Harry soon walked to where Remus was to see what he was doing and he happened to take the toy stag too and start playing with it. When Remus saw what Harry did he took it back from him and Harry started to cry.

"Harry that other toy was for your new sister who was just born not for you. From now on you're not going to be only child around here, you're going to have to share with your sister," Remus tried to explain to Harry that he would now need to share with his new sister.

Harry just looked at him looking disappointed that he didn't get to play with all of the new toys.

"Here you can play with the snitch that I bought you this afternoon," Remus told him trying to redirect his attention to another toy that he could play with.

Harry looked at him for a minute and then at the snitch, finally reaching for the snitch and started to play with it. Remus, meanwhile was wrapping up the toy stag for Jamie.

Meanwhile after Sirius got off from work he went straight to the florist in Dragon Alley ordering two dozen lilies for Lily and a floral arrangement for Jamie to be delivered to St. Mungo's. When Sirius went over to Lily's later on that day he picked up Remus and Harry and dropped by St. Mungo's to see Lily and Jamie. Of course when they got to her ward, they were greeted by several floral bouquets in the room.

"Isn't this great, I'm sure that this is more than what Snivellus bought for you," Sirius remarked to Lily.

"This isn't a contest to see who loves me and Jamie the best, so you better not treat it as such," Lily reminded him since she had a suspicion for his motives in buying her and Jamie all of those flowers.

Remus then handed her his present that he had purchased in the toy store earlier that day. "Thanks, Remus this will help me in telling Jamie about her daddy before his accident," Lily thanked Remus after she unwrapped the toy stag for Jamie, while Sirius looked at it, wondering if he should get Jamie a toy stuffed dog that looked like his animagius form. When the Healer brought Jamie back into the room to spend time with her family, Harry started to crawl out of the stroller that he was in and reached his arms up for his mummy to pick him up. When she didn't immediately pick him up, he started crying which Sirius picked him up and tried to cheer him up. He continued crying for his mummy, while Lily frantically tried to reassure him that she still loved him, even though she needed to spend some time with Jamie now. Harry didn't look too happy at the prospect of sharing his mum with anyone else. Right before she fed Jamie, she showed Jamie to Harry and told him about all of the big brother things that he can show her in the future and that he was to look out for her now.

After Remus left with Harry, Sirius stayed behind to wait after Lily had fed Jamie to take her up to visit James with the Healer's permission of course. When Sirius entered James's bed on the ward he brought Jamie to his old friend to show him his new daughter and James just looked straight at him without any expression on his face. When he saw that James didn't even react to the birth of his daughter, even showing her to him, Sirius vowed that he would be a father figure to James's kids since it wasn't the kids' fault that their own father couldn't show them love.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Harry Potter, nor any movies mentioned in this chapter.

* * *

**Six Years Later**

Over the past six years, the Potters went to visit James at St. Mungo's once a week depending on Lily's schedule at the hospital. Severus and Lily became real good friends with whom she could confide her secrets to. Remus still looked after Jamie and Harry, with Sirius helping out when he could. During the week, Harry went over to The Burrow where he would have his lessons with the Weasleys, Luna Lovegood and Neville Longbottom. At first the other kids thought that it was cool to have the "Boy Who Lived" in their lessons until they settled down and really got to know him. Of course his grandmother would sometimes take him out of lessons for photo ops. Of course the other children missed him when he missed those lessons and there was some jealousy over the attention that Neville received from the public, until their parents explained that Neville had to lose his parents in order to receive that attention. Harry was never told that he could have been the "Boy Who Lived" instead of Neville. Mrs. Weasley taught the children the academic subjects while Laura Lovegood took time out of her busy schedule as a researcher to teach the children art once a week.

"Well its three weeks until Christmas, so what do you want for Christmas Severus?" Lily asked Snape on one of their few dinners that they tried to have together at least once a month.

"You know what I want and I can't have it right now," Severus told her hoping that he didn't reveal his true feelings for her.

Lily looked at him wondering what he could possibly be talking about, and then she had an idea in her head.

"Oh you want the new book that's coming out in January about the new potions that have been invented this past year," Lily remarked to him.

"Yes that's it," Severus answered her feeling relieved that Lily didn't realize his true feelings for her.

"Well, then I guess I can put that book on reserve for you at Flourish and Botts and then find something else that I think that you'll like in the meantime," Lily told him.

"Good I like being surprised then unlike those of us who don't," Severus answered her relieved that she didn't figure out his feelings for her and ran scared.

"Well, I've got to get home since I left the kids with Remus to watch a video that I had rented from the video store," Lily told him while standing up to leave.

"I don't know why you insist on having those things in your house for anyway, since there's better ways to use your time other than sitting in front of that box," Severus told her.

"I know, but the kids seem to like it and it's hard to believe that even Remus enjoys it too, considering how much he likes to read. Besides they're watching that movie that we watched together last night, while Sirius took them out for ice cream and dinner," Lily answered him as she handed her credit card over to the waiter to pay for her meal. Severus watched her leave the restaurant, knowing that all that she could give him right now is friendship even though he knew that James would never get better. Lily was a strong woman, never James even though she knew that he would never get better too. It was such a pity since she was still young and if she divorced James she could still marry someone else, like him. Of course Lily wouldn't even think about him being her boyfriend as long as James was alive much less live with him. Severus didn't think that there was a rule against teachers living with someone who wasn't a family member at the school, though there could be since that could send the wrong message to the students, since she was still technically married to James. After a few minutes after Lily left Severus paid his bill and went back to Hogwarts where he would wait anxiously until the next time that he would see her again.

When Lily returned home, she was greeted at the door by her two children, seven year old Harry and five year old Jamie.

"Mummy, guess what we have a werewolf here just like in the movie except that he can't turn into a wolf a will nor does it make him good at sports," Harry greeted his mum eagerly while Lily was looking around for Remus since she knew that he probably would tell the kids about his little "furry" problem.

Remus looked at her in disbelief that Lily would even let her kids watch a werewolf movie, even if it was a comedy.

Lily bent down to get on Harry's eye level, "I hope that Remus told you and your sister what being a werewolf means in our world," Lily told him hoping that he didn't want to be a werewolf now too.

"He did, but wait until I tell the other kids that we know a real live werewolf, though he can't transform on command," Harry answered his mum hoping that his mum would let him tell his friends about his nanny.

"Wait a minute, did Uncle Remus give you permission to tell the other kids about his problem?" his mum asked Harry giving him a look that meant that she'll find out the truth one way or another.

"No, but can I just tell Ron and Neville since they're my closest friends anyway?" Harry asked.

"Not unless Uncle Remus gives you permission to tell anybody," Lily replied to him just as Jamie came up to them.

"So did you have a good time with your Uncle Remus honey?," Lily asked her daughter. "Yes, and I don't see why you're spending time alone with Uncle Severus since you're hardly home anymore," Jamie answered her.

"Well mummy has to work and sometimes she needs to have some grownup time," she replied to her daughter hoping that she would understand why she couldn't spend as much time with her like her friends' parents.

"I still don't like it and then why if you want to spend time with your boyfriend instead of daddy? Don't you love daddy anymore?" Jamie asked her mum which surprised Lily while Remus and Harry eagerly awaited her answer, since they were also concerned about the time that Lily was spending with Severus.

"Honey, Uncle Severus is mummy's friend and sometimes she needs to have a friend that wants to spend time with, like Luna and Ginny are your friends. Yes I still love your father and visit him every week with you guys and I only get to spend one on one time with Uncle Severus, so I spend more time with your daddy than I do with him," Lily tried to explain to her daughter.

"I still think that you need to spend more time with us at least when Uncle Sirius comes over he does fun things with us," Jamie answered her while Lily seemed to be satisfied with her answer.

After Jamie and Harry went their own separate ways, Remus stayed behind to voice his concerns with Lily.

"I don't think that it's a very good idea for you to be spending too much time alone with Severus, besides it gives him the wrong impression that you're interested in him while you're still married in James," Remus told her privately sounding concerned for her and even Severus.

"I like spending time with Severus, besides he's one of the friends that I can confide to about James, without him judging me like Sirius sometimes does. Besides on a couple of occasions when we went out, I've even introduced him to women from work that he goes out with for a couple of times and then it doesn't work out," Lily answered Remus trying to convince him that Severus did know that they could only just be friends for right now. "I hope for your sake that he does recognize that all that you could ever be at this time is friends, since you're still married to James," Remus replied to her before leaving Lily's house for the night.

"Well, don't forget that we're going to take all of the kids to sing Christmas carols in the muggle nursing home that's in St. Ottery Catchpole," Lily reminded him as Remus was getting ready to go home.

"I know, its something that the kids have been looking forward to. They want to see the difference between a muggle and a magical nursing home," he told her.

"I know, they want to see how they treat their patients there, if they would get better treatment at St. Mungo's," Lily told him knowing that they want to see if James would get better treatment there than at the wizarding hospital.

Later on that evening when Remus returned home, he found Sirius sitting on the couch waiting eagerly for his return.

"How did your evening with the kids go?" Sirius asked Remus sounding interested wishing that he could spend more time with Jamie and Harry.

"It went okay, except that Lily had me watch a werewolf movie with the kids that pushed me to explain my condition to them," Remus answered Sirius sounding a bit annoyed at Lily for having to talk to the kids about being a werewolf.

"What was she thinking about showing her those horrible movies? Remember the one that Lily took James to before he had his accident. He was mad that muggles would make a movie about a kid becoming a werewolf and being asked to kill himself for the good of the community by his best friend no less," Sirius responded sounding angry that Lily would even let her kids watch such garbage.

"No, its not like that, besides before she left she told me that she had watched it earlier with Snape and she thought that it was funny, appropriate for the kids to watch. It was a funny movie and the werewolf in it didn't attack or kill anyone. No, now Harry wants to tell all of his friends about my condition because he thinks that it's cool and Jamie thinks that I can turn into the wolfman at will," Remus clarified for his friend.

"Wow, did you even tell them about the prejudices that werewolves face in the wizarding world. I mean you're an educated man who's working as a nanny, don't they think that's a bit odd?" Sirius asked Remus wondering how James would react if he even knew that his kids were asking those types of questions.

"No they don't, but I've been thinking for a little while since I'll be out of a job once Jamie goes to Hogwarts and even though it's a few years in the future its never too late to think about the future," Remus remarked to his friend.

"What kind of job are you thinking of doing? Will you still watch Lily's kids for her at least until Jamie goes to Hogwarts?" Sirius asked sounding curious to what kind of job Remus was thinking about.

"I plan on still watching them, besides I can get started working on it at night and I would like to try to see if I could support myself. I thought maybe I could write a book about a werewolf who fights evil along with his friends," Remus admitted to Sirius sounding embarrassed by his suggestion.

"That sounds like a good idea, but do you think that muggles would buy a book like that and what would you do if one of the muggleborns recognize you?" Sirius asked interested at Remus's idea.

"I could use another name and no one would know that it was me writing those books. I would at least like to try and if it doesn't work out then there are other things that I could do," Remus answered him sounding hopeful about his future.

"You know that I want you to be able to earn a living, and I think that the laws against werewolves are unfair, but is there anything else that you can do in the muggle world in case this writing thing doesn't work out?" Sirius asked his friend sounding concerned for him.

"I heard about something called temping where you work for an agency and they send you out to work for different companies, but I've got a while before I could even seriously consider it," Remus answered him.

Sirius looked at him believing that his friend could write about his adventures as being a werewolf, but worried about how muggles would accept his work. Remus didn't appear to be concern that his idea for supporting himself might fail and even looked eager to get started on it right away.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter.

* * *

The next morning, right before Lily left for work she reminded her kids that they weren't supposed to tell any of the other kids about Remus's furry little problem, without his permission. The kids promised not to tell, while Lily hoped that she didn't have any of the other parents send a message to her at work about letting a werewolf near their kids. While on her lunch break, she went upstairs to see James hoping that he would at least recognize her and to tell James that the kids know Remus's secret.

"Well James both Harry and Jamie know about Remus's furry little problem. At least they're not scared of him now, even though Harry thinks that its cool that he knows a real live werewolf. That means that we've probably going to keep a close eye on him during the full moon, to make sure that he doesn't try to see a werewolf transform on his own," Lily told James while he just looked at her with his usual blank expression on his face. Growing frustrated with his lack of response, Lily decided to tell him about her outings with Severus to see if he would even react to the news.

"James, I've been seeing Severus at least once a month for dinner, even though nothing has happened yet," she admitted to James, looking for a reaction from him.

When she didn't get a reaction from her husband, she sadly realized that she could have told him that she was shagging Severus and James would still look at her the same way as if he didn't care. She left his room upset with the realization that James would never know what was going on around him. By the time she had gotten back to work, she wiped away the tears from her face and did the best to hide her feelings from her coworkers. When she got off from work, she went over to the Weasleys to prepare for the children's trip to the nursing home that evening. When she got there she saw that all of the Weasley children were there, since Hogwarts had just gotten out of class that day for the winter break, with Neville Longbottom whose grandmother didn't understand why they couldn't just go to St. Mungo's and Luna Lovegood with both of her parents. To no one's surprise Augusta Longbottom was talking to Xeno Lovegood about putting her grandson's part of this into _The Quibbler_, while Neville looked like he just wanted to be with his friends and be a normal kid without any special attention whatsoever. Of course Lily was slightly surprised when she saw Sirius's cousin, Nymphadora there with Charlie who appeared to be her boyfriend at the time. At least she her hair color was her natural black color, instead of her usual pink that she wore. Lily assumed that her dad warned her that she would shock the elderly muggles who lived in the nursing home, with her pink hair. Hopefully he also warned her that the muggles wouldn't be used to her metamorphosing ability. When they arrived at the Sunrise nursing home after getting all of the kids organized and the little candy packs that they planned on handing out afterwards together, they were greeted by the nursing home administrator who immediately took them into the resident's common room. When they got there, they were surprised to see a boy about Charlie's age sitting in a wheelchair with a board with the alphabet written on it who looked like he was unresponsive. Lily had a sinking feeling in her stomach, wondering when her kids realized that kid was in the same situation that James was making a mental note to ask the administrator later about his treatment. The adults immediately had the kids arranged in their positions for the performance that they were going to give in the nursing home, with the older kids helping out with the younger ones. Much to the adults' relief the kids seemed to be well behaved, even the Weasley twins who thought that it would be funny to change the lyrics to the songs. Though after the performance both Harry and Jamie walked over to the teenager who was sitting in a wheelchair.

"Was he hurt by bad guys too?" they asked their mother curious to see a muggle in a similar condition like their father.

"I don't know, but there are other ways to get hurt like that other than someone attacking them," Lily answered her two children.

"Like what?" Jamie asked. "Why don't you continue to visit with the residents and later when we're home we'll talk about it," Lily answered them

While the other adults supervised the children in handing out the candy packs for the residents, Lily made an appointment with the nursing home administrator to tour the facility to see if it was possible that they had room for James. The rest of the evening proved uneventful, and when they returned to the Weasleys later on that evening, Harry and Jamie started to ask their mother questions about what the guy that they saw in the nursing home.

"Mum, why was that man in a chair that moved, while daddy has to stay in bed all day?" Harry asked his mum.

"Well, muggles have different way of doing things like putting a person like your father in a wheelchair, which is what the chair that you saw him in is called," Lily answered her son sadly realizing that James would have had better treatment in a muggle facility than at St. Mungos.

Lily hoped that there would be a place for James at Sunrise, if not then hopefully she'll find a muggle nursing home that can take them. It would be nice if James could communicate with them again, since she and the kids were intrigued by a board with the alphabet on it that the man in the nursing home seemed to use to communicate with. The only thing that she was worried about was Sirius's and Remus's reactions to her putting James in a muggle home. Later when the group returned to The Burrow, the other adults knew that something was troubling Lily.

"Lily what's wrong?" Molly asked.

"I can't get that kid out of my head, the one that reminds me of James. I wonder if James would be better off in a muggle home, and I wonder if I should of put him there in the first place instead of St. Mungo's," Lily answered her friend.

"At least now you know and you're looking at putting him in there aren't you?" Laura asked joining the two women.

"Yes, but I don't want to get the kids' hopes up yet in case it doesn't work out," Lily answered her.

"I understand, but how would the people at work react to you taking your husband out of St. Mungo's and placing them in a muggle nursing home?" Molly asked sounding worried about Lily's job.

"I don't care what they think, if I think that James would get better care in a muggle place than a wizarding place, I'll put him there. I'm sure that either of you would do the same thing if that was one of your loved ones in there. Besides I want the best for James and I think that putting him in a muggle home would be the best for him. If this place doesn't have room for him, then I'll find another home that would," Lily answered Molly trying to convince them that everything would work out fine and worrying about how Sirius, Remus and the kids would take the news about James.

* * *

The next day when Remus came over to care for the kids, while she was at work Lily asked to speak with him and Sirius if he could come when she got off from work since she wanted him to hear what she had to say too. Right after she got off from work, she went up to the Janus Thickey ward to visit James and to meet with his Healer to find out how to get the paperwork started on getting him transferred to a muggle facility.

"James, I know that you probably don't understand what I'm saying, but I'm seriously considering putting you in a muggle care facility. We took the kids to one over Christmas and they saw a young man just like you, but instead of lying in bed all day he was able to get around in a wheelchair. He could even communicate with us through a talking board, wouldn't it be nice if you could let us know what you were thinking, I know that we would love it if you could talk to us, especially Jamie since you never really got to know her. Hopefully, we'll be able to put you in a home close to either the Weasleys or our home since both Harry and Jamie are friends with their two youngest children, Ron and Ginny. I don't care what anyone else thinks about this, though I expect Sirius to raise a fuss about it, since he thinks that wizarding ways are better than muggle ways," Lily told her husband while waiting for the Healer to see her.

"Mrs. Potter, I believe that you wanted to see me," Healer Smith motioned to Lily while leading her to her office.

"Yes, I'm thinking about transferring James to a muggle facility permanently and I want to know what I would need to do in order to transfer him," Lily asked Healer Jones. "Why do you want to move him? What can they offer him that we can't?" Healer Jones asked Lily sounding interested in why one of St. Mungo's Healers would want to transfer one of their patients.

"I feel that he would get better care there, plus I visited with the kids to a muggle nursing home and saw a patient there like James who was sitting in a wheelchair and not lying in bed like James does. He even had a little board that he used to communicate his needs to the staff with, while James just lays in bed all day long," Lily explained to Healer Jones. "Fine, you'll need to fill out these forms and since James has already been here for six years and there is no change in his condition, the Ministry has a good chance of allowing the transfer. James may need to be looked at by a muggle doctor, since it's been six years that he has last been seen by one of their doctors. I hope that you know understand that they can't cure him," Healer Jones answered her sounding concerned that she was getting her hopes up.

"I know that James would never be cured, but I'm sure that he would want me to get the best care for him, whether it be muggle or magical," Lily reassured the Healer that she knew what she was doing.

Healer Jones than led Lily out of her office, who on the way home wondered how she was going to tell Remus, Sirius and the kids about her decision to put James in a muggle nursing home.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Harry Potter.

* * *

"You want to do what?" Sirius exclaimed after Lily told him what he planned to do with James.

"I want to put him in a muggle care facility, since he hasn't made any improvement at St. Mungo's in the past six years that he's been there," Lily informed him.

"What makes you think that he'll do better in a muggle place anyway, since they wouldn't understand his condition anyway?" Sirius asked her.

"When I went to Sunrise with the kids, they saw a young man there who was just like James who could communicate with us and he wasn't lying in bed all day long. Besides, I'm only going to visit the place to see what types of services that they could offer James and if it makes you feel any better this is something that Jamie and Harry want," Lily tried to convince him.

"I still don't see why you want to do this, since James is getting excellent care at St. Mungo's. I hope that you're not setting yourself up for a disappointment, like last time. I know that you want to do what is best for James, and I'm not sure that this is it. Besides you're his guardian and I trust you to treat him well," Sirius told her.

"I'm sure that you'll realize that I'll always have James's best interests at heart, since he is the father of my children," Lily reassured Sirius.

"You forgot to mention that James is your husband, or did you just want to forget that you're still married to him so that you can be free to shag Snivellius," Sirius reminded her.

"I know that I'm still married to James, but he's also the father of my children and no for the last time I'm not shagging anyone at the moment. Besides, if I put him in Sunshine, he'll be closer to where Harry and Jamie attend school and they'll be able to visit him ore often," Lily told him sounding insulted that Sirius would even think that she would even shag anyone other than her husband. When she came home after talking to Sirius, she decided that she would let Remus learn about her intentions when she told Harry and Jamie.

"Remus, I have something to say to the kids about James and I want you to be here when I tell them. Don't worry James is still doing the same at St. Mungo's," Lily informed Remus while she called the kids to come into the living room.

When Harry and Jamie came into the room and saw the look of worry on their mother's face, they wondered if their father was dying.

"Don't worry, you're father isn't dying yet, but I want to let you know that I'm thinking about putting James in a muggle care home, like the one that we visited last night. I even made an appointment to talk with the nursing home's administrator about James tomorrow after I get off from work and to get the paperwork started on his transfer," Lily informed the three of them.

"Does that mean that daddy will be able to talk to us?" Jamie asked.

"I don't know, but from what I saw last night it looks like he might, but I wouldn't get my hopes up too much if I were you," Lily warned her children while still sounding hopeful that James could at least let them know his feelings about them.

"When will daddy get to talk to us? Does he even know who I am?" Jamie asked her mum.

"I don't know, but I'll know tomorrow when he'll be able to move in and when he can start his various therapies. But from what I understand, it could take a while before he could even start communicating with us and I'm sure that he knows who you are even if he can't show it at this time," Lily answered Jamie to the best of her knowledge.

"When will he be able to go and when can we visit him?" Harry asked curious about when his father will be settled in his new home.

"I don't know, but I'll find out tomorrow and if this place doesn't have room for him then I'll find him somewhere else to go. Who knows, we might even be able to place him in a home at Godric's Hollow," Lily answered them sounding hopeful that finally James would be able to get the care that he needed instead of being stuck in a hospital bed all day with the only stimulation that he receives is the visits that he gets from his friends and family.

"How's Sirius taking the news?" Remus asked sounding concerned for his friend after the two of them went into the kitchen and they were out of the earshot of the children. "He still thinks that wizarding ways are best, though he knows that I have James's best interest at heart. He thinks that Severus and I are together, though I don't know where he got that idea from," Lily answered him sounding truthful.

"Well, you do spend a lot of time with him outside of us and when you look at him the same way that you looked at James while you were dating and before his accident. I'm not one to judge if you've fallen for someone else, since I personally don't know what I would do if I were in your situation and James is like another child now," Remus answered her.

"I do need to have other friends outside of you and Sirius, since you're James's friends and sometimes I feel that I can't be honest about James to the two of you like I can with Severus since he's my friend not James's friend," Lily told Remus hoping that she didn't hurt his feelings about her needing to have other friends.

"Why him? Why not a female friend, like you had in Alice or why don't you talk to Molly or even Laura?" Remus asked her wondering why she thought of Severus as a confidante instead of her two women friends.

"I don't know, I guess that it's because of all of things that we've been through together, I was there for him when he went through most of his darkest moments in his life. Besides if it weren't for him Harry, Jamie and I wouldn't be here by now either both James and I would be in St. Mungo's or we would both be dead, with me losing Jamie before she was even born," Lily answered Remus.

"It looks like you're dating him when you're still married to James, that's all. I don't mean that it's not okay for you to have guy friends since you have me and Sirius," Remus reminded her.

"I'm not dating him but he's the only one that I feel comfortable around and he was the first one to let me know about the magical world," Lily reassured him.

"I still think that the two of you have feelings for each other but are afraid to let each other know about it because of James. I think that he's always fancied you even after you married James," Remus tried to point out to Lily.

"No, he's just my friend and I don't have the same sort of feelings for him that I had for James," Lily answered him.

"Well, if you say so," Remus told her but not completely believing her insistence on her feelings about Snape.

"Do you plan on telling Severus your plans concerning James, since he's your friend?" Remus asked her quietly.

"Of course I did," Lily answered him while going back into the living room to put the kids to bed and Remus went home to see how Sirius was handling the news.

"Have you heard about what Lily plans on doing with James? Why would she want to take him to a muggle facility for, since he's getting excellent care at St. Mungo's?" Sirius asked Remus as soon as he came home from work.

"Yes I did and I think that its an excellent idea, since James has been at St. Mungo's for six years now and he's had no improvement there, I even think that he's even getting worse. I think that it's wise of Lily to look into alternative treatment for James at this point," Remus answered Sirius who looked surprised at his answer.

Sirius then went up to his room to sulk over the fact that his long time friend would support James even going to a muggle facility.

The next day Lily showed up for her appointment at the same muggle facility where they had brought the children to, hoping that they could at least help James if not cure him. "You must be Lily Potter, I'm Elizabeth Jones the administrator of this facility, and of course we've already met a couple of weeks ago when you came here with your kids. Of course the residents here love getting young visitors since some of them don't have a lot of family visiting them," Elizabeth told her after Lily filled out a questionnaire about James and his current situation.

"The kids enjoyed it too," Lily replied sounding proud of their little group of children. "As I told you earlier, we are a public facility, which means that the cost is lower than what you would find in a private facility. At this time we do have a bed here, but we also have a facility in Godric's Hollow which is where you currently reside if you want to place your husband in a home closer to your residence," Elizabeth informed her.

"Will James receive the same treatment at Godric's Hollow that he would receive here?" Lily asked her sounding interested.

"Yes he will and I will even show you around here and let you know about the different therapies that he will receive while here," Elizabeth answered her question gently knowing how concerned she must be to place a loved one in a nursing home.

Elizabeth led Lily on a tour of the nursing home while explaining the different services that they offered. Lily looked around with interest; certain that James would receive better care here than he was currently receiving at St. Mungo's. When they returned to Elizabeth's office, Lily decided that she wanted to visit the facility at Godric's Hollow before making her decision, but she knew that she was going to place him in a muggle facility. As Elizabeth explained about the treatment plan that would be available to James, Lily thought about how wonderful it would be if James would be able to communicate with his friends and family again, even if he would never be able to live at home again.

Elizabeth interrupted her thoughts by letting Lily know "we also let family members check out our residents for short visits, even the residents like James from what you told me about him."

At those words, Lily thought about what a surprise it would be for James to be able to visit her and their children at their home.

"What do I need to do in order to get him admitted?" Lilly asked.

"First you need to have James's doctor send a copy of his medical records to us and from there we can determine a treatment plan for him. Before you do that you do need to send us a deposit to reserve a bed for him here," Elizabeth answered her while Lilly wondered how James's records from St. Mungo's would translate into muggle medical terms. A few days later Lily toured the Sunnydale home in Godric's home and made arrangements to have James transferred there, which would bring him closer to her and the kids.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Harry Potter.

* * *

On March 26,1988 Lily decided to surprise the kids and Sirius by bringing James home from the Sunrise nursing home in Godric's Hollow for a couple of hours in order to celebrate James's birthday which was on the 30th. Lily had confided her plans to Remus, Molly and Severus, since she had instructed Remus to pick up the food for the little party, Molly to bake a cake for the occasion and to set up at Lily's house, and Severus to help her in bringing James home for a couple of hours. She did instruct Sirius to take the day off since she told him about planning a party for James's birthday but not where the party was going to be. When Remus arrived that Saturday late morning, he planned on taking the kids with him to the park to spend a couple of hours there giving Severus and Lily a chance to pick up James from the nursing home before he had to pick up the food for the little party. When Severus arrived at Lily's he found her at the front making the entrance to her home wheelchair accessible for James.

"Hi, I wasn't expecting you until later, but now that you're here you can set up the backyard for James's party later on today. You don't have to worry about the kids getting in the way today, since they're out with Remus and Sirius will be over later. I'll make sure that he won't make any trouble for you, since you're my friend and I really appreciate you doing this for James," Lily instructed him while pointing him towards the backyard while giving him a smile that encouraged him.

An hour later Lily went out back to see what Severus had done with the backyard and to make sure that everything was perfect for James's homecoming. After looking and seeing what Severus did to the backyard, Lily came up to him and kissed him on the cheek. He was surprised at the sudden show of affection that she had shown him and he grabbed her waist and embraced her in a passionate kiss that lasted a couple of minutes before Lily pulled away from him and ran off into the house embarrassed at what she had just done, since she was still a married woman.. Severus was shocked at how he had returned Lily's kiss and how she had reacted afterwards. He complatated if she wanted to take their relationship further, even though she was still married and couldn't marry him until James died. Later on back the house, Lily thought about what she and Severus had just done and her growing feelings for Severus. She still loved James, but because of his condition it was like having another child. She could never divorce him, no matter how stubborn he was seven years ago, since he was the kids' father and she knew according to British wizarding law, that she could divorce James but she couldn't remarry until James's death. Besides, she still loved James though only as one of her children, since his attack and she couldn't bear the thought to divorce him no matter how stubborn he was seven years ago. Though Lily couldn't get the way that she felt when Severus held her earlier.

Later on in the car when they were going to the nursing home to pick up James, Severus asked Lily, "Why did you want me to come along, you know how much I don't like Potter? Is this your way of getting us to make up?"

"You've been such a good friend to me and right now I'm going to need a friend to help me get through this," Lily answered him honestly.

"I still don't understand why you want me to help out with Potter's birthday party for you, but I'll go since you asked me," Severus replied enjoying the fact that he was going to spend some time with Lily, though her husband and his friends were going to be there too.

When the two of them arrived at the nursing home, Lily immediately went to the front desk to let them know that she was there to check out her husband for the day. While Lily was working on the paperwork that would allow her to check out James for a couple of hours, Severus looked around the home and noticed that the majority of the residents were old enough to be James's parents and that the home seemed to be much nicer than the Janus Thickey ward of St. Mungo's. When Lily came back with James sitting in a wheelchair, she brought the car around, which she had magically added a ramp to it to make it easier to transport James, without getting him out of his chair. Severus was amazed at the changes in James since he had last seen him. He was now more alert and sitting up in a wheelchair, instead of lying in bed all day with no life in his eyes. He wondered how James would react if he knew about him and Lily kissing before coming over here, but before he could think too much about it Lily entered the car in the seat next to him.

Meanwhile after Sirius got done with his shift with the Auror office, he went straight to Sunrise where James was currently living, since he thought that James's party would be held there not realizing that the residents could take a leave of absence from the facility. When he got there, he was surprised to learn that James wasn't there, but was checked out earlier that day. After he went outside, he wondered who would let James out in his condition and if Lily knew about it. He went straight to Lily's house while waiting outside for her to answer the door he wondered how he was going to break the news that James was gone.

When Lily answered the door, he asked her, "Did you know that James isn't in the nursing home, and they wouldn't tell me where he is?"

Lily looked surprised at Sirius's question but then quickly recovered and answered him, "Oh I forgot to tell you that Severus and I picked him up earlier today so he's out in the backyard with the kids and Severus right now." Sirius looked relieved that James was here with Lily, but surprised that Snape would agree to help her pick him up.

Lily immediately ushered Sirius out back, where James was in order to try to separate him and Snape for the time being, plus she knew that Sirius was eager to see James and to make sure that he was all right. When Sirius saw James he was amazed at the changes that were made in a short period of time. He went over to James who was sitting in his wheelchair, looking more alert than Sirius had seen him in a long time. Sirius was also amazed at the board that James held in his lap that had different drawings on it to represent different possible needs that James could have, like hunger or thirst. "That board is just a start for James. He's now working with a communications therapist, so hopefully by Christmas he'll have one with the alphabet on it," Lily told him after she noticed Sirius looking at the board with interest.

A few minutes later Remus came in with the kids and the food for the party. The kids were excited about getting to eat pizza, cake and ice cream while Remus was glad that James at least would be able to spend one day at home with Lily, the kids and his friends. The kids immediately wanted to know when they could eat and Lily told them that it would be in a few minutes after she got everything set up. As soon as they saw their father, they came running outside to him while Lily finished setting things up for their small party. A few minutes later the four adults and the two children joined James in the backyard eating their lunch of pizza, while Lily was assisting James in eating. None of the kids noticed this, but the adults did noting the changes that they've already seen in him over the past couple of months. After lunch it was time for James to get his gifts that Lily helped him in opening them. Though he couldn't express his feelings over his gifts, he showed his feeling of happiness in his eyes. Lily then put his presents in a pile, so that he could take them back to the home with him. After the presents were opened, Lily went back into the house and returned with the birthday cake with Remus following behind her with the ice cream. After everyone, including James had their fill of ice cream and cake, Harry and Jamie wanted to know if they could go over to the Weasleys to play with their friends. Lily let them go after they gave their father a kiss on the cheek and were accompanied by Remus. A few minutes later only Sirius, Lily and James remained there, but James immediately fell asleep in his wheelchair worn out by that day's activities. Lily immediately wheeled him back inside, so that he could take his nap in the house. As soon as she got him inside, she immediately led him to the living room, so that when he woke up he would be in a more familiar setting. While James was having his afternoon nap, Sirius left to go home to get ready for a hot date later that night, leaving Lily and Severus alone for the time being. Lily then used a heating charm to heat up a couple slices of pizza for her to eat since she didn't get a chance to earlier, while Severus joined her. Well, James will be going back to the home in a few hours, though it was nice to have him home for his birthday even though he couldn't stay for long. "Don't tell anyone this Sev, but I am thinking about James staying with us for a week over Christmas if Sunrise will let him take a leave of absence from them for a week," Lily confessed to Severus while he looked at her amazed at how she was going to deal with James being at home with her and the kids for a whole week. Severus was amazed that she would even think about having James home for Christmas since it seemed to be tiring to take care of James and the kids on top of going to work every day.

A couple of hours later James woke up from his nap and so Lily with Severus's help, put James in the car in order to take him back to the home. Severus hoped to have some private time alone with Lily after James was settled back in the nursing home. After James was settled in Sunrise, Lily drove Severus to a secluded spot so that they could talk in private, without the fear of any interruptions.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Harry Potter.

* * *

When Lily parked the car in a secluded area, after dropping James off she immediately turned to Severus, which made him wonder why they were stopping here for

When Lily parked the car in a secluded area, after dropping James off she immediately turned to Severus, which made him wonder why they were stopping here for.

Lily then turned to Severus and told him, "Now we can talk about this relationship." Severus just looked at her wondering what she had to say about their relationship.

"Right now, I'm still married to James and am planning on staying married to him, until he dies. He could die tomorrow or ten years from now, it would be unfair to you if you think that we could have a relationship. You need to be with a woman who's free to marry, not someone like me with a husband whose so brain damaged that he has to be instituionized. I care for you to much to watch you pine away for me," Lily told him while Severus was amazed that Lily would even think that he would even consider going out with anyone else just for the sake of being married and having children that would carry on his family name.

"I don't need to be married in order to be satisfied, I'll wait for you until you're ready no matter if its in ten or fifty years from now. I don't want to be married to anyone else but you," Severus answered her.

"I know that you'll say that now, but won't you feel like your missing something if we don't get married we'll well into our fifties," Lily replied to his answer trying to talk reason into him.

"I don't care if we have kids together or not, I'm not like some other guys who want children in order to carry on their family name and traditions," Severus answered her. "Yes, but don't you want to be with a woman that you can freely marry, not wait years for her husband to die. Besides if you are serious about wanting to be with me, then you'll need to spend more time with my children, since you could become their stepfather, even Harry too since I know that he reminds you of James," Lily tried to convince him to date other women while wondering how long Severus would wait for her before he decided to settle down with anybody else.

"I don't mean being there for both Harry and Jamie in order to help you out, besides don't you already have Black and Lupin helping you out with them?" Severus asked her. "I do, but I want Harry and Jamie to get to know you better since you're my friend and there is a possibility that you could become their stepfather," Lily answered him hoping that he realized that if he ever did get to marry her then he would become a parent to both of her children.

"I guess that I could do that, though during the school year it would be harder with me teaching at Hogwarts and having to prepare for lessons plus my other duties at the school," Severus answered her hoping that she would be satisfied with his answer. "That's fine, I don't want you to sacrifice your position at Hogwarts for me or the children," Lily answered him glad that he would at least make an effort to get to know Harry and Jamie better.

After they had their talk, Snape looked around the area and saw other cars there with other people parking their cars and what they were doing in them.

"Where did you find this place, Lily?" Snape asked her sounding curious. "I found this place quite by accident after we first moved here, and trust me James found a new use for a muggle car," Lily shyly admitted to him.

"You mean that you and him actually snogged in a car here?" Severus asked trying to get the picture of James even kissing Lily, much less doing other things out of his mind. Severus then leaned over to kiss Lily, while she returned his kiss and deepened it. They snogged like that for the next few minutes until she remembered that she had to go back home and clean up after the party. She immediately straightened herself out hoping that no one would even suspect about what her and Severus just did. Of course when she did return home after dropping Severus off at the apparition point, so that he could get back to Hogsmeade and eventually to Hogwarts. When she returned home, the kids were still at the Burrow and Remus had finished cleaning up after the party.

"What took you so long, it shouldn't have taken you this long to get back? Did Snape attack you?" Remus asked her sounding concerned.

"No, I just took him to a secluded place to talk and he now understands that I'll never divorce James. I told him that he's free to date other people and that's it," Lily reassure Remus hoping that she wouldn't tell that she wasn't telling him everything.

"How did he take it?" Remus asked her sounding concerned.

"He told me that there was no one else for him except for me. He'll probably change his mind though and meet someone that he'll want to spend the rest of his life with though," Lily answered him.

"Yeah, and what if he doesn't, Lily not everyone is meant to be married and that could be the case with Severus," Remus tried to reason with her thinking that he would never marry because of his condition.

"If that's the case hopefully he'll realize that you're still married to James and I hope that you don't forget that either," Remus assured her.

"I hope so," Lily told him not wanting to reveal that she was starting to have feelings for Severus. A couple of hours later after Remus had left she went over to the Burrow to get her children, but she wanted to talk to Molly and, Laura and Augusta if they were there too. When she arrived she saw that the kids were playing a pickup game of Quidditch in the back yard with Molly and Augusta watching them. She immediately joined the two women in conversation and watching their children play giving her a chance to visit with them.

"How have my two kids been doing?" Lily asked her two friends as she walked up to them.

"They've been doing well so far, though they were first quiet when they got here," Molly answered her.

"I guess that they were still surprised at seeing their dad at home for the first time in six years and how much better he looked there than he ever did at St. Mungo's, even though they visit him every Sunday," Lily responded to Molly hoping that was the reason for her kids' reaction to their father.

"Have you heard the news, the Lovegoods plan on sending Luna to a muggle art program this summer? I wonder how she would do around all of those muggles, since she's never been around them at all," Augusta informed the two women.

"I don't know, but I think that its great that the Lovegoods want Luna to see what's outside of the wizarding world, who knows she might even meet a muggle born witch or wizard there. Besides I was hoping to take the kids to the science museum in London this summer, to show them that there's other things out there than just magic, hopefully Severus will be able to join us," Lily told them saying the last part nonchalantly while Molly looked amazed that she would volunteer to take ten kids to a muggle museum, plus she knew that Arthur would just die to go to a muggle science museum.

"What would they do there?" Molly asked sounded interested.

"See muggle things and how they work," Lily answered her.

Molly groaned at that part knowing that Arthur would be like a kid in a candy shop at a place like that, though she thought that it would be nice to have the house all to herself on a summer day.

"Do you plan on having James come home again or was this just a one time thing?" Augusta asked Lily curious if she would be able to let James come stay with her and the kids again.

"Of course, I plan on having him stay with us the week before Christmas, a lot of the residents there go home with their families over the holidays. They do plan on telling me about the care that he needs and will send his medication home with him. I do plan on hiring someone to stay with him during the day though since Remus will be spending most of his time with the kids and Sirius has to work," Lily answered her while Augusta looked at her in disbelief.

"If it was my son, I'm sure that Alice would keep him at St. Mungo's where he belongs, instead of bringing him home and upsetting the children," Augusta told them, while Lily looked like she wanted to tell Augusta what would probably happen if her precious Frank was like James.

"It isn't him, since they're dead but it could easily be him in James's place and Alice would be right there with him, since when James was attacked they were after me and Harry too.

Knowing you if that was your son and daughter in law who was attacked then they would still be in St. Mungo's treated like animals," Lily replied to the older woman while Molly looked at Lily in surprise.

"I'm sure that Harry and Jamie were excited in having their father come home for a few hours," Molly reassured Lily.

"They were, I think that they were disappointed that he couldn't stay with him and that James hasn't been cured. I think that they've accepted the fact that James would never be cured nor will he be able to live with us permanently," Lily answered her.

"I don't know what I would do if Arthur or any of my kids had to live like that. I don't know what I would do if I had to see Arthur in a childlike state constantly, you must be stronger than I am," Molly tried to reassure her.

"You don't know how strong you are until something like that happens," Lily answered her.

"I don't want to hear any more of this talk about James, by the way did you hear that my Neville accidentally set one of my hats on fire. I don't think that he likes them but it shows that he'll grow up to be a powerful wizard one day," Augusta told the two of them trying to change the subject while Molly and Lily rolled their eyes at the mention of Neville's abilities.

A few minutes later, the kids were done with their game and the Potters were ready to go home along with the Longbottoms.

"How did you having daddy home with us for a little bit today?" Lily asked her children. "It was nice to have him home with us, but I wish that he could live with us for good like other people's daddies," Jamie answered her mom with Harry nodding his head in agreement.

"I do too, but right now we have to take what we can get besides I'm hoping that he'll be able to stay with us for a week over Christmas," Lily replied hoping that her kids would be excited at the possibility of having their father home for Christmas for the first time that they remembered.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter.

* * *

August, 1988

Lily wanted to make this the best birthday party for Harry, though her and Molly had both planned a joint birthday party for him and her daughter Ginny since their birthdays were so close together. A few days earlier they went over to Longbottom Manor, where Neville had celebrated his birthday with Augusta's annual photo shoot with the Boy Who Lived. Lily couldn't believe how Augusta treated her grandson's birthdays, though she knew that Neville would much rather have a quieter get together with friends and family rather than have a large affair. Lily knew that Sirius would never make a big production out of Harry's birthday, if he was the Chosen One. Then again there would have been a very good chance that Harry would have been sent to live with her sister Petunia and she would have ignored Harry's birthday all together. That was the reason that she secretly didn't want to have Neville join in their joint birthday party, she knew that Augusta would take it over and overshadow both Harry and Ginny, even though Neville was a good kid who needed to have playmates his own age. Lily knew that her kids, the Weasley kids and even Luna were a good influence for him, since he seemed to take his fame in stride. It was his grandmother that wanted him to be treated as someone special because of his fame. Lily decided to invite Neville, hoping that after all of the children's birthday parties that he attended, that not all birthday parties are like his where his grandmother plans a party for the press. At the party both Harry and Ginny were given two little birthday crowns to wear and Lily thought about how cute they looked together, almost like her and James when he was healthy. She wondered if Severus was going to come by and at least bring over their presents, since he was getting better at spending time with Jamie and Harry since school got out. Of course, the older Weasley kids weren't too happy about having one of their teachers visiting them over the summer. Of course Severus only stayed for a few minutes, since he didn't feel that he would be welcome at a kid's birthday party, only long enough to give his regards to Lily and Molly and to drop off his presents for Harry and Ginny. Lily greeted him with a peck on the cheek that luckily none of the kids noticed. Molly noticed this though and wondered why Severus Snape would even appear at this party, she thought that he didn't even like James but then she didn't truly know what she would do if she were in Lily's shoes. Of course Molly didn't see that Arthur took two of their guests to his shed to show him the muggle inventions that he was tinkering with, since they were muggleborns who hadn't started Hogwarts yet. The oldest one was Luna's friend from art camp. He was in the photography classes, while Luna was in the painting classes. Once they were discovered to be missing, the Weasley kids had an idea where the two brothers went, since they were very familiar with their dad's fascination with muggles and how he wouldn't like anything more than to show off his finds to the two young muggleborn wizards. Arthur even tried to show Lily what he'd been tinkering with, once he found out that she was muggleborn. Once Ron had rescued the Creevy brothers from his father's clutches, it was time for the birthday cake and for the two birthday kids to open up their presents. While both Harry and Ginny opened up their presents, both Lily and Molly snapped picutures of them with their respective pile of presents. Lily to show James later on when she visited him at the nursing home hoping that he would at least recognize their son. Afterwards when the kids were settled in with their cake and ice cream, the parents watched them and talked among themselves, with Lily hoping that she wouldn't have to hear about one of Neville's accomplishments are how his own birthday party went. Though right before the cake and ice cream Molly had to get up and "rescue" the Creevy brothers from Arthur's questions and his showing off of his muggle things in his shed. Lily smiled remembering her first reaction when her friend's husband wanted her to see his shed, she thought that he had other things in mind other than showing her his muggle treasures, since he knew that she was muggle born. When Luna started to bring both Colin and Dennis Creevy over to The Burrow to play, after getting permission from Molly, Lily remembered the looks of amazement on their faces when they were introduced to the wizarding world. As each of Harry's and Ginny's presents were opened the Creevy's were still amazed at the wonders of the wizarding world since most of their presents were from the wizarding world. Harry was still a little disappointed that his dad couldn't come to his party, but was satisfied with the plan to swing by the nursing home, showing his dad all of his gifts and giving him an opportunity to tell him about his party. Now, James had stepped up to a full communications board with the alphabet on it, that he could type out short sentences on. After the party Lily gathered up her children and took them straight to Sunrise to see James. The past few months had been hard on Lily she still met with Severus once a month just to get away from the kids for a while. After their snogging session after James's birthday party she only met him in public places like restaurants or tea rooms to keep her from the temptation of snogging Severus while she was still technically married to James. When Lily arrived at the nursing home with Harry and Jamie, she was relieved that Harry and Ginny's birthday party had gone well. When they got to the community living area, Lily and the kids went up to James to tell him about Harry's birthday party even though they were disappointed that he couldn't come to it, but they understood why he couldn't come.

"Hi dad, today's my birthday and we had a party at the Burrow with Ginny since her birthday's next week and the adults thought that it would be cute if we had our parties together. Luna even brought her new muggle born friend and his brother that she met at art camp this summer. They were so excited over every little thing in our world," Harry told his father wondering if he even knew that today was Harry's birthday.

James looked at him as if he knew what Harry was talking to you, but when Lily and their kids weren't even aware if James even knew what day it was.

Almost a minute later, James decided to type out "Happy birthday, Harry," on his board which let his family know that James was aware that it was Harry's birthday, of course he was still learning how to use the alphabet board when it was Jamie's birthday, so he couldn't wish her a happy birthday then.

The whole family including Sirius, Remus and even Severus were excited when James started to use the alphabet board. When they returned home after visiting James and going to Harry's birthday party Lily was surprised to find Severus waiting for them on the front porch.

"What are you doing here? I thought that you had already gone back home," Lily remarked after seeing him on his front porch, while Jamie ran up to him and Harry tried to stand apart from them.

"Hi guys how did your party go Harry?" Severus asked him.

"It went okay, but why didn't you stay too long for I'm sure that everyone would love to meet mum's new boyfriend," Harry answered him sarcastically.

"Harry how could you say something like that, you know that I love your father and wouldn't do anything to hurt him. I want you to apologize to him right now for being rude," Lily reprimanded her son.

"I'm sorry that I thought that my mum would try to replace dad while he's still alive," Harry told Severus though he still thought that Severus wanted to replace his dad.

"What are you doing here, Uncle Severus anyway?" Jamie asked him.

"Since I knew that Lily probably didn't want to cook after spending all day at Harry and Ginny's birthday party so I decided that I would take the three of you out for the evening," Severus told them while Harry looked sullen about this while Jamie and Lily were excited about it.

"Let me go inside and put up Harry's presents or do you want to go inside and see them," Lily answered him trying not to sound too excited at the prospect at seeing Severus again. "I think that we've had enough excitement for the day, but we can get take away and eat it here, plus maybe get a couple of videos from the video store for them to watch. I do appreciate the thought though and you're more than welcome to join us," Lily answered him but still giving him an opportunity to spend time with her and her kids.

Severus was disappointed that he didn't get to go out with Lily and her kids, but he realized that it was for the best since they spent all day at the Weasleys which probably wore them out but he was still going to spend time with her them though.

"You can go ahead and pick something up at McDonald's, I'll go ahead and ask the kids what they want and give you a list so that you'll remember our order," Lily told him trying to sound helpful.

About an hour later Severus returned with their food and two videos, _The Shaggy Dog_ and _The Shaggy DA_ and Lily grabbed the food from him setting it on plates and calling the kids to dinner. When they entered the dining room, they were not too excited to see Severus since they thought that he was only being nice to them in order to get closer to their mum. They did enjoy the food though, since Lily only let them have McDonald's on special occasions. They even enjoyed the first movie that Severus had brought, since it had reminded them of Sirius who they wished could be there instead of Severus, but he had to work. Of course their Uncles Sirius and Remus would come by tomorrow to spend the entire day with them since they didn't have to work that day since Sirius was on duty and Remus was working on the edits on his book that was scheduled to come out around Halloween. Of course the kids loved the first movie, even suggesting that they might want to watch it with Sirius again, since it was about a boy who could turn into a dog though not at will like their Uncle Sirius could. Due to the long day that they had at the Burrow, the kids immediately fell asleep right after the first movie, with Lily wondering if Sirius and Remus would like to watch the second movie with them tomorrow night, since she was working the afternoon shift at the hospital tomorrow. Severus moved to pick up Harry and tuck him into bed, while Lily did the same thing with Jamie. Severus noticed how peaceful the kids looked while they were sleeping and wondered if he would ever get to marry Lily and possibly have his own children with her. Without Severus noticing her after she got Jamie in bed, she noticed Severus watching Harry sleeping in his own bed.

"He looks like a little angel when he's sleeping but too bad he's not like that all of the time," Lily whispered to him remembering all of the times that Harry had gotten into trouble, just like his father when he was younger.

The two of them walked back to the living room together, intending to watch the second movie on their own, since they wouldn't be there to watch it with the kids tomorrow. When they were alone, before Lily could pop the video in the VCR, Severus leaned over and kissed her. Lily deepened the kiss and they spent the next few minutes making out on her couch. They even started to explore each other's bodies. When he started to try to undo her bra, she immediately pulled back and suggested that they just go ahead and watch the second movie. Severus reluctantly agreed with her, since he felt that she wasn't comfortable snogging on her couch with her kids upstairs, since they could come downstairs and find them like that. Lily immediately went over to the VCR, and popped the video in there for the two of them to watch. Sometime before the movie was over, Severus feel asleep and after the movie, Lily didn't want to wake him so she transfigured the couch into a bed and covered him up with a blanket before giving him a kiss on the cheek and going upstairs to her own bed. The next morning Lily went downstairs to check on Severus and to direct him to her bathroom, where he could use the shower in private after she used it of course. She even gave him some of James's old clothes that he could change into, so it would look like he didn't spend the night there. A few minutes later Remus and Sirius came by to pick up the kids for that day's outing when they were surprised when Severus happened to come down the stairs. He was surprised to see both Sirius and Remus standing there, with Sirius looking like he wanted to hex him into next year.

"What are you doing here, Snivellius?" Sirius asked him daring him to answer him.

Lily saved him when she walked into the living room after waking up the two kids. "Well Harry and Jamie should be down in a couple of minutes after they get dressed. I'm sure that they would be excited to see the two of you, since they missed you yesterday," Lily informed both Remus and Sirius who was still glaring at Severus.

"Of course we would of spent the night if we had known that you were planning to have a sleepover party with him," Sirius told her sarcastically while glaring at Severus.

"We didn't do anything, he just fell asleep on the couch, while we were watching a movie and I didn't feel like waking him up and sending him home. Besides its none of your business if I have overnight guests over or not," Lily informed the two of them.

"It is so my bloody business since you're still married to James and he's my best friend," Sirius protested at what she told him about her personal life.

Though both Remus and Sirius seemed to believe what she told them about Severus, since they've been known to fall asleep in front of the wireless before, until Harry and Jamie came downstairs.

"Mommy do I get to pick if I get a baby brother or sister?" Jamie asked her mom.

At that question Sirius looked like he couldn't decide if he wanted to hex just Severus or both Severus and Lily at the possibility that Lily would even have another kid by someone other than James.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Harry Potter.

* * *

"What do you mean do you get to choose to have a little baby brother or sister

"What do you mean do you get to choose to have a little baby brother or sister?" Lily asked her daughter sounding worried about what she had seen the night before.

"Well, I saw mum and Uncle Severus doing what I saw Charlie and Tonks doing a few weeks ago. When I told Mrs. Weasley about it, she told them that she didn't want to be a grandmother just yet after they were caught red handed in his bedroom," Jamie answered her mum who looked shocked, while Sirius looked outraged.

"Honey, what your Uncle Severus and I were doing wouldn't give you a baby brother or sister," Lily tried to reason with her daughter.

Jamie looked disappointed at the news that she wasn't going to get a baby brother or sister.

"What exactly were you and Severus doing anyway, that would even make Jamie think that she was going to get a baby brother or sister?" Sirius asked her curious if she would even think about cheating on James.

"I'm not going to answer that one in front of the kids."

Harry and Jamie looked on at this interchange very interested to see what would happen to Uncle Severus, when Lily opened up her purse and handed Remus a twenty pound note. "Here go and take the kids out for pancakes, while I go ahead and talk with Sirius and Severus."

The kids groaned and protested at the news that their mother wanted them out of the house for the juicy part.

"Why do we always have to miss the good stuff? I want to see if Uncle Sirius is going to fight Uncle Severus," Harry protested.

"You don't need to see this, and besides you're too young to even hear about what they're going to talk about," Remus answered Harry.

"I'm not too young I'm now eight years old and will be going to Hogwarts soon," Harry protested.

"Don't you want to go out for pancakes, since you don't eat them that often," Lily tried to plead with her children.

"No, we want to stay here where all of the excitement is. This is better than what we could even see on the tele," Harry told his mum.

"You don't have a choice in the matter the two of you are going with Remus for pancakes," Lily ordered her children while pointing towards the front door.

Harry and Jamie reluctantly followed Remus out the front door while looking backwards at the three remaining adults. After Remus and the children had left, Lily turned around to face both Sirius and Severus.

"Look I know what you're thinking, but the only thing that Severus and I did last night was snog and I stopped before it got too far. I don't know where Jamie got the idea that babies come from kissing, I probably need to sit both her and Harry down and explain where babies come from," Lily told Sirius who still looked like he wanted to kill Severus for even snogging Lily.

"How could you do this to James, I thought that you still loved him?" Sirius asked her sounding interested in how she could snog Snape when she was still married to James.

"I do, but I love James like a child now and I also love Severus. I love him like I used to love James and would probably still love him if it weren't for the attack on him,"

Severus brightened up at this declaration of love from Lily, even if it was in front of one of his worst enemies.

"I can't believe you, you promised to be with James for better and for worse, now it's for worse and you decide that you love someone else," Sirius pointed out that fact to Lily. "Its not like I intended this to happen, besides its not James is dying from cancer or some other horrible disease. Right now he has the mind of a child and will always be that way, no matter what muggle therapies that he receives,"

"I don't care he's still your husband and besides I don't see what you see in Snivellius anyway?"

"Well, he can be tender when he wants to be besides he was the one who first introduce me to the magical world in the first place. If I were back in America I probably would of divorced James anyway in order to protect our assets," Lily informed Sirius.

"If you want to divorce him so much, why don't you. I'm sure that no one would blame you for divorcing him anyway since he's such like a child," Sirius remarked back at her, while Severus looked uncomfortable with the entire interchange.

"I think that I better go now," Severus told Lily while trying not to look nervous as he left Lily's house.

"I won't divorce him, besides you should know the laws that even if I did divorce James, I still wouldn't be able to marry Severus until James died. Besides, what would the children think if I divorced James after all that we've been through," Lily answered Sirius hoping that he would be satisfied with her answer.

Sirius seemed to be satisfied with her answer for the time being even though he still didn't understand why she could cheat on James with Snape anyway. Of course, there was no way for him to understand what she was going through completely because he never had to see a loved one in James's condition other than James.

"One thing that you ought to know about the baby thing is that for both Christmas and her birthday Jamie's top two wishes were that her daddy would get better and that she would have a baby brother or sister to boss around like the older kids boss her around. If she even saw me kissing Severus, that she sees him as a way to get a younger sibling," Lily informed Sirius who immediately felt bad for the youngest Potter who never even had a chance to know her own father.

A few minutes later Remus returned with both Harry and Jamie who were disappointed that they missed their Uncle Sirius fighting with their Uncle Severus.

"Harry and Jamie, we need to talk about where babies come from, so that there won't be misunderstandings about mummy having another baby anytime soon," Lily told her two children as they were getting settled in the living room.

"Do you know where babies come from?"

"Sure we do, mummy they come from their mummy's tummies and their daddy gives her his baby making juice in order to put one in there," Harry answered.

"Did Severus give you his, since daddy can't make any more babies so that I could have a baby brother or sister?" Jamie asked her mum who looked embarrassed at this question.

"No, what we were doing doesn't result in a baby being born. You can't have a baby when mummy and daddy kiss or snog each other, so I won't be having a baby anytime soon. Do you understand what that means?"

"Yes it means that I'm always going to be the baby and you'll always see me as your baby like Mrs. Weasley does Ginny," Jamie answered her sounding upset that she wasn't going to get a baby brother or sister to boss around.

"Not always, who knows maybe after your father dies and I fall in love with someone else and marry them, then you might get a baby brother or sister, but not until then."

Jamie looked hopeful at this and remarked, "Hopefully daddy will die soon and then you can marry Uncle Severus and have lots of babies with him,"

At that Lily looked embarrassed while Sirius looked mad that his youngest godchild would even wish that her own father would die.

"Hopefully daddy won't die for a very long time; I know that he would love to see both of you graduate from Hogwarts."

Jamie looked disappointed at the fact that she might not get a baby brother or sister for a very long time if at all. At that point, Remus interrupted them, "Its time for us to go if we want to spend the whole day together and besides your mum needs to get ready for work,"

Lily looked relieved at that news since she didn't have to be questioned any further about her feelings for Severus.


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Harry Potter.

* * *

December, 1988

Over the next few months since Harry's birthday things were still a little tense between Lily and Sirius. The kids didn't notice a difference in the relationship between their godfather and mum. Remus of course had his first book published in October with his publisher wanting another book from him about a werewolf who fights evil. Everyone was proud of his accomplishment, even Severus. Sirius and Remus still lived together, since neither of them wanted to live alone and they were used to living together all of these years. Mrs. Weasley sent over Harry and Jamie's holiday wish lists that they made during class. Predictably both Harry and Jamie wanted James to get better so that he could live with them and Jamie decided to ask for a baby brother or sister again, she decided to show the list to Sirius and Remus to see what they thought of this. Lily was also getting the house ready for when James was going to come and spend Christmas week with them and trying to find someone who would be willing to stay with him while she worked, since Remus would have his hands full with the children. While she was at St. Mungo's she put an advertisement up on the board looking for someone looking to make extra money by staying with James for a week she also put an ad in the _Daily Prophet_. She was surprised by the lack of response that she received; she thought that it was due to the fact that they would need to work so close to Christmas. One day when she was going over to the Burrow to pick up her kids, she was surprised when Molly expressed interest in the position.

"You do realize that this would be while the older kids are home from vacation and don't you want to spend time with them, since they spend most of their time at school anyway. Besides the position is only for a week while James is here," Lily told her friend, wondering why she would be interested in the position.

"I know, but when I'm not working I'll be able to spend some time with them. Besides when I'm here it would give me a chance to get away from the kids for a while, plus the money would be helpful in helping to pay for school costs next year. I know that if Arthur was like James then I would love for him to be able to spend Christmas with us."

"I'll go ahead and hire you since you already do such a great job with the kids and this wouldn't be much different than watching them. You'll have to change his nappie, feed him and maybe even put him in his wheelchair in the morning. The position doesn't pay much though and this would help me out a lot."

"I don't care, and besides with seven kids I've changed many nappies before," Molly gently reminded Lily.

"I know but who would be watching the younger kids over the holidays while you're here?" Lily asked her sounding interested.

"Bill and Charlie will be home from Hogwarts and they can watch the kids. It would be good practice for them when they have their own families someday," Molly reassured her that she would be able to be there for the week that James would be there.

"I will need you to come over before he does get here to show you the layout of the house and then when James arrives I will need to let you know about what medication he's taking, plus how to administer them to him. These are muggle medicines, so they're different than potions," Lily instructed her.

"I've lived with Arthur and his fascination with muggle things, so I think that I can pick this up quickly. Besides Arthur would be jealous of me getting to work with muggle things instead of just tinkering around with them," Molly admitted to Lily.

"That's great and it would really help me and Remus out a lot, since he's already got his hands full with the kids and his book series."

"I'm glad to be able to help out."

A few minutes later she left with both Jamie and Harry relieved that she would be able to bring James home for a week, since she was worried that she wouldn't be able to keep her promise because she couldn't find anyone to stay with him. When she returned home that evening she immediately got dinner started while Harry and Jamie got started on their homework. After the kids went off to bed, she went over their Christmas wish lists making a note of which items were doable and which ones weren't possible, like daddy getting fixed and a new baby brother or sister. She wondered if Severus was going to be able to come by the house anytime during the week that James was going to be here, since she wanted him to come over for Christmas dinner since he has no one else to spend the holidays with. She remembered Sirius's reaction when she told him that she had invited Severus to Christmas Dinner one evening when she was picking up the kids from their time with their Uncle Sirius. She smiled when she remembered that Sirius still thought that Severus was her boyfriend.

"Why did you invite him for, since James is going to be here too? Is this to remind him that you're still married?" "No, he doesn't have any family to go to for Christmas right now and it would be nice to invite him over since he's my friend like you and Remus are," Lily answered him.

"Yes but you aren't in love with him like you are with Severus. Do you think that James would like having your boyfriend come and visit you while he's here?" "I don't think that he would even notice him and for the hundredth time he's not my boyfriend, since I'm still technically married I can't act on my feelings for him anyway. Remus is happy for us, why can't you be happy for us right now," Lily answered him trying to convince Sirius that they weren't a couple.

"It just isn't right for you to have guy friends that are in love with you and are just waiting for James to die."

"For your information Severus isn't waiting for James to die, but sometimes I wished that the Death Eaters had killed him instead of incapaciting him. Didn't you sometimes wish the same thing?" Lily admitted to Sirius.

"No, because he's still my friend and he's alive, while he's alive there's always the hope that he would get better."

"Well, he's been seen by muggle doctors other than wizarding Healers and they told me that he would never get better. Even with him getting muggle therapies now, he would never be able to live with us full time without round the clock nursing. Even for him to stay with us for a week, I need to hire someone who would be able to stay with him while I'm not here and Remus would have his hands full with the kids anyway," Lily reminded Sirius that it would be highly unlikely that James would be able to live on his own again. Sirius couldn't believe that Lily would give up on James like that, especially with the improvement that he was making.

On the other hand Lily couldn't believe that Sirius was still in denial about James's condition, even after all of this time. At least Remus was being realistic about the situation, even though he didn't fully agree with her relationship with Severus but he did understand it. Remus knew that if James couldn't be with Lily then he would want her to be with someone who would make her happy. He did see that Snape did make Lily happy when he was with her, even if he still didn't trust Remus because of his condition. Remus did give Snape credit though for being a good friend to Lily and for being nice to the kids, even being willing to help Lily with them as well. He wished that Sirius would understand that Lily is lonely and Snape helps her to get over her loneliness, he only wished that he would find someone that he could be with for the rest of his life other than Sirius. He was ashamed to admit that sometimes he even felt that James would be better off dead then living life like he was. He knew that Sirius still held out hope that James would get better some day. Remus was proud of Lily though in the way that she looked for the best options for James, even if the rest of the wizarding world didn't agree with her. He did know that Sirius did like the fact that James could come home for Christmas and his birthday, even if it took a little bit of preparation in order to prepare for his visits. He only hoped that Sirius can behave himself when Snape comes over for Christmas dinner. Lily hoped the same thing when she got home, since it would be embarrassing if Sirius did cause a scene, since she did invite him because he didn't have any family left and it would be lonely for him to have Christmas dinner at the school.


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Harry Potter.

* * *

Finally the day came that James would come home to spend a week with his family, Lily made sure that all of the necessary preparations were made for his homecoming. She even converted the study that was on the first floor into a bedroom in order to make it easier for him to get around in. The kids were excited that their daddy was going to spend Christmas with them for the first time since they could remember. Harry wouldn't remember his first Christmas, which was the only Christmas that James had spent with them as a family and Jamie hadn't even been born yet. Lily wondered how James would even notice Severus spending Christmas day with them, though she doubted that he would. She was glad though that James could have a temporary leave from his nursing home in order to spend Christmas with his family, which she pointed out to both Remus and Sirius that he wouldn't be able to do if he was still at St. Mungo's. Remus was still concerned about having Sirius and Severus in the same house for Christmas and Lily had to admit that she was worried about them being together too, but of course maybe Sirius will be distracted with James around. She just felt sorry for Severus with no family to spend Christmas with; she thought Sirius could identify with that. Of course he was going to spend Christmas Eve with Andromedea and her family. When Lily went by to pick up the van that she would use to pick up James from the nursing home she only hoped that everything would be prepared for his return. While she was gone to pick up James, Sirius who had taken the day off from work, along with Remus and the kids who planned on surprising James and Lily when they returned from the nursing home. Molly was planning on coming by later with her younger children, to play with Harry and Jamie so that she could learn James's medication schedule for the next week. Besides it would give Harry and Jamie a chance to spend time with their friends and for them to introduce them to their father. Remus helped the kids to set up the welcome home banner that they had made for their father, after both he and Lily had explained to them that he was only going to be home for a week and after that he was returning to the nursing home, which was his home now. Lily wasn't sure if the kids understood that James wasn't going home to live with them, he was only going to visit with them for a week. When Lily brought James home, she was surprised to find out that the kids had put up a welcome home banner for his return with the help of Remus and Sirius. As soon as the two of them entered the house, his two best friends greeted him energetically. His two children ran up to him to give him hugs, before Lily could even get him settled in the house. While Remus, Sirius, Harry and Jamie were with James, Lily placed his bags into the first floor study that had been converted into a bedroom for James for the week. When she returned to the living room she saw that Jamie was telling him about what they had planned for the week and all that went on since they saw him last on their weekly visit to the nursing home. While she was in James room putting away his clothes and medicine that he would need for the next week she couldn't help but wonder if James wanted to be kept alive like this or if he wanted to die. She couldn't think too long about those things because a few minutes after she entered James's room Jamie entered it wondering when she was going to go out and spend time with daddy. After she was done putting away all of his things the muggle way, since their way could help her to think about all that James had been through these past few years. Only looking at his family from a distance, not really being a part of them because of his injuries, she only hoped that this week that they would be able to feel like a family again if only for the next week. When she returned to the living room with the medication that James was supposed to be scheduled to take, according to the directions from the nursing home, she found him sitting by the window just staring out of it, taking in the sights around him. Lily wondered if he even remembered any of this, since he had once lived here too even though the decorations and the surroundings have changed over the years. A few minutes later Molly arrived just after Lily had returned with a glass of water for James, she quickly showed her how to administer his pills to him, even letting her giving him a couple of them. While the two women where giving James his medicine, everyone else was in the kitchen getting a snack. Of course the kids were excited about having their father home for a while, though Remus and Sirius had their reservations about James's homecoming. Remus hoped that both Harry and Jamie wouldn't be too upset when James had to return to the nursing home. A few minutes later both Harry and Jamie wanted to know if they could go to the Burrow with Molly so that they could play with their friends.

"Don't you want to stay here with daddy, since he'll only be with us for a week?" Lily asked her kids trying to persuade them to stay and spend more time with their dad.

"No, since we'll get to see him later and we want to play with our friends, while we don't have to go to school," Harry answered his mother.

"That's fine, but do you mind coming back before dark, since we can spend some family time together since I don't have to go in to work at all today."

"Sure, I'm sure that Mrs. Weasley will probably send us home anyway. Besides I'm sure that everyone else would like to hear about our dad coming home for Christmas," Harry reassured his mum.

"That's right I'll send them straight home as soon as it gets dark outside anyway, besides I know that Ginny and Ron would love to see the kids," Molly reassured Lily that she would send both Harry and Jamie home when it started to get dark outside. Lily finally agreed to let the kids go with Molly after she was done showing her what her duties would be for the next week. Harry and Jamie agreed to wait until Mrs. Weasley was done, since it wouldn't hurt them to wait a few more minutes to see their friends. While they were waiting, Remus suggested that they play a game while they wait for Molly to get finished, in order to make the wait to see their friends more bearable. When they did get to go with Molly to their friend's house, they immediately told their father that they would be back and to reassure him that they weren't abandoning him. James just turned his head to look at them without showing them any emotion at all. When Harry and Jamie arrived at The Burrow, Ron and Ginny wanted to know what it was like to have their father in their house again with the knowledge that he was going to spend the entire week with them.

"I love the fact that dad's home, but I'm going to hate it when he has to leave again. We get to see him once a week in the home, but its not the same as having him live with us," Harry answered them.

"Though its going to be fun to see how Uncle Sirius and Uncle Severus are going to get along at Christmas dinner since mom invited both of them over," Jamie replied with Ron looking interested at the potential for fireworks in the Potter household.

"That should be interesting, what do you want to do?" Ginny asked the group.

"Why don't we go outside and play out in the snow," Ron suggested.

"That's a great idea, though Fred and George will probably want to start a snowball fight though." Just as Ginny finished saying that the group of four friends where immediately bombarded by snowballs from Ron and Ginny's older brothers, not just the twins. For the next few hours they were involved in a snowball fight with Ron's and Ginny's older brothers, even including Neville and Luna when they came over.

After almost an hour of their snowball fight, Mrs. Weasley invited the kids inside for cookies and hot chocolate before the Potters, Luna and Neville had to go back home. "So, what's it like having your dad home for Christmas? Do you think that he'll be able to stay home for good?" Luna asked Harry and Jamie.

"I don't know yet since he just got home a few hours ago, but he needs to have someone with him all of the time, just like a baby. Mrs. Weasley is going to stay with him during the day while mum's at work, but I think that he'll be going back to the nursing home after Christmas though," Harry answered her with Jamie nodding with him in agreement. "What happened to the Creevy brothers anyway, since they haven't been here all day?" Ginny asked curious to find out if her father did scare away the muggleborn brothers.

"I think they said that they were going to visit their grandparents in Canada and that they would be unable to visit us for a while, but they can't wait until they return," Luna answered since she'd been keeping up with Colin since art camp had ended.

The other kids were disappointed that the young muggleborns wouldn't be joining them, but understood that they had to visit relatives over their school holidays. After finishing their hot chocolate, the children immediately went back outside to play again in the snow, much to Mrs. Weasley's dismay since she was so sure that one of them would catch cold. The kids played out in the snow until it was time for dinner and for the Potters to return home. When Harry and Jamie returned home, they found their mother finishing preparing that evening's dinner, while James was sitting near the wireless, so that he could listen to the latest shows on the wizarding wireless. They decided to spend time with James, since they only get to see their father once a week normally, though sometimes either Remus or Sirius brought them to see him during the week while Lily was at work. During dinner Lily fed James his dinner before she even started to eat hers, she did put a warming charm on the food though so it wouldn't get cold when she actually got a chance to eat her dinner. After dinner she pushed James back into the living room where the kids joined them while she was finally able to sit down and eat her own dinner. Harry was reading a story to both James and Jamie when Lily saw them after finishing her dinner. James looked like he was listening to the story, though Lily didn't know if it was because he liked listening to Harry's voice or if he really could understand what he was saying. After Harry finished with his story, Jamie wanted to read to daddy so Lily let her pick out a book to read to daddy. While she was reading to him, Lily noticed that James started to show signs of being tired which meant that he was ready for bed, but Lily let her continue reading to him since she knew that it meant so much to Jamie. Lily then decided that she would have Harry and Jamie both read to their father at night before bedtime, but start earlier in the evening. After Jamie finished reading to James, Lily immediately took him to his room to get him ready for bed. After she had gotten James to bed, she realized that it was Jamie's bed time and she had her go to bed also, since Harry was older he was able to stay up an hour later, which he used during that time to listen to his favorite show on the wireless. As soon as Harry went to bed, Lily immediately went to bed also since she had to get up early the next morning to go to work and she had the monitoring charm set up in James's room so that she could be alerted in case he needed anything. After thirty minutes or so after she went to bed and turned out all of the lights in the house, she heard James making a crying sound through the monitoring charm. She left him alone for a few minutes but he continued to make the same noise. She immediately went downstairs to see what he needed and as soon as she went to his room she found that he was awake but he seemed to have a bad dream. Lily went over to him and comforted him like she did the children when they were younger and they had bad dreams after which he immediately went back to sleep. Almost as soon as Lily had gone back to her room, she heard James waking up again and she went back downstairs to comfort him again. The third time that she did go to his room, she decided that she would give him one of the sleeping pills that he got from the nursing home. After giving him the pill she waited until it took full effect before she went back up to her room, hoping that Harry and Jamie didn't hear any of his night cries. That night she lay awake wondering if she did the right thing for James by bringing him back home for Christmas, the place where he was taken from.


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Harry Potter.

* * *

The next day when Mrs. Weasley came over, Lily let her know that James was still sleeping and probably wouldn't wake up for a couple of hours.

"Did he stay up late last night?" Mrs. Weasley asked sounding concerned for James. "He was having nightmares most of the night, so I gave him something to help him sleep. He's still under the effects of the pill," Lily replied looking embarrassed that she had to give her own husband something to help him sleep.

"Don't be embarrassed about it, he was probably scared about sleeping in a strange place, since it has been a long time since he's lived here. I'll take care of him when he wakes up, you can go ahead and get ready to go to work," Molly reassured Lily.

Lily then reluctantly fixed her and the kid's breakfast before waking the kids up before she went to work. Remus arrived just as Lily was going out the door to work, but before she left she gave him instructions to make sure that he kept the kids out of Mrs. Weasley's way though they can visit with their father if he was up to it. She then let him know what time she would be coming home for work, unless she was held up at work. The kids wanted to naturally know where James was and Mrs. Weasley let them know that he was still sleeping and that they shouldn't interrupt them since he had a hard night last night and needed his rest. Remus gave her a questioning look, but Mrs. Weasley looked like she would answer his question later on. After breakfast, the kids immediately went outside to play while Remus had a few minutes to speak with Mrs. Weasley alone. "Now that the kids are gone, do you know why James is still sleeping this late, since I know that he would of wanted to see Lily go off to work?" Remus asked her.

"I don't know why maybe, this is his first morning here, maybe he's just tired from being in a new place," Mrs. Weasley answered him trying to hide the truth from him.

Remus seemed to take her at her word, "Let me know when he wakes up so that the kids can visit with him."

"I will, but he will need to be fed and dressed first, maybe they'll get to see him this afternoon, do you have any definite plans to do today?"

"No, but of course the kids may want to go over to your house today in order to visit with their friends."

"I don't mind as long as they've done all of their chores,"

A few minutes later both Jamie and Harry came back inside to see if their father had woken up yet since they both wanted to visit him and were disappointed to find out that he hadn't yet. They're father woke up half an hour later, though he didn't come out of his room almost an hour later because it took Mrs. Weasley that long to get James bathed, dressed and situated in his wheel chair. During this time both Harry and Jamie were listening to a show on the wireless to pass the time until they were able to see their father. When Mrs. Weasley did bring out James she immediately gave him a bowl of porridge that she warmed up and spooned it into his mouth, since he couldn't feed himself. The kids were almost shocked that their father was being fed like a baby. Of course they waited patiently until James had finished his breakfast and Mrs. Weasley had pushed him into the family room. After he was finished Harry and Jamie quickly greeted their father, while asking Remus if they could go over to the Burrow to play. He immediately looked to Mrs. Weasley to see if it was alright with him.

"It would be alright if they're finished with their chores and I can floo them right now to see if they are."

She did and when she came back, she went ahead and let them know that it was alright for them to go over to the Burrow to spend the day there. Both Harry and Jamie were excited at that news since they were bored just sitting around waiting to be able to see their father. Remus hoped that James would be able to get up earlier tomorrow, to at least be able to see Lily off to work. Molly decided to let Bill and Charlie know that the Potter kids could stay for lunch if they wanted to, since James was going to take his lunch much later in the day because of his lie in. When Harry and Jamie arrived at the Burrow, Bill looked like he was frazzled with having to watch all of the children by himself, even though he had Charlie helping him it still seemed to be too much for the older Weasley. Of course Harry and Jamie knew that the twins always tried to take advantage of their older brothers when they were assigned to watch them whenever their parents had to leave for a few hours. Both Harry and Jamie immediately found their friends and got caught up in the game of hide and seek that they were playing, which was Fred's idea much to Bill's dismay, since he worried what little tricks the twins had up their sleeves this time. Bill wondered if the twins were going to sneak off and try to find the Christmas presents that their parents had hidden away like last year, when they got into their presents and were playing with them while mom was out for a couple of hours and dad was at work. Hopefully they weren't trying to recruit the younger kids in assisting them in looking for the Christmas presents, since they were impressionable and looked up to their older brothers. Of course Ron and Ginny might even try to find their own Christmas presents and of course their mum always knitted something for them every year, which those gifts weren't really a surprise to the kids. As usual Percy was being roped into trying to find the kids at least they weren't playing Aurors and Death Eaters in which the twins try to tie up Percy and hold him hostage. A couple of hours later, Remus came back by to pick up Jamie and Harry, since it was almost time for Lily to come home and he wanted them back before then since Mrs. Weasley was being nice and helping to start dinner for them. When they did get back home they found James sitting outside near the kitchen window, where Mrs. Weasley could keep an eye on him in case he needed her for anything. Both Harry and Jamie went back up to their rooms to get ready for dinner while Remus spent a few minutes alone with his friend. James didn't even seem to notice his old friend when he entered into the room, Remus wondered if he even still remembered who he was and what he was. Remus noticed that he was looking outside, just staring into space.

"What are you looking at?"

"The outdoors," James typed.

"Do you see anything that's interesting out there?"

"The trees."

"Anything else?"

"No."

Just then the kids came downstairs and greeted their father with a peck on the cheek, and James seemed to look at them when they did this. Tonight though when they did try to find a show that they wanted to listen to on the wireless, James did express his opinion of the different shows in his own way. When he didn't like a particular show he would make a grunting sound and bang on his communications board and when he liked it, he remained quiet. They finally settled on a show that they could listen to together while waiting for Lily to come home from work and they could eat dinner. They hardly noticed when Mrs. Weasley gave James his pills that he was scheduled to take at that time. Though shortly thereafter she did wheel James away to have his nappie changed, since it would be nice if Lily would come home with James having a fresh nappie on. Therefore when Lily came home James was ready for her arrival in his chair with the kids eagerly waiting for dinner. Mrs. Weasley offered to stay and help Lily with James during dinner, but she refused sending her home to her own family. Lily knew that Harry and Jamie could be trusted to behave during dinner while she helped to feed James and she placed a warming charm on a plate of food for herself. Lily didn't have a chance to eat until after James was fed, but she enjoyed in listening to the kids talk about their day and how they were able to spend the day with the Weasleys at the Burrow. Lily listened to them with interested and wondered how much of that James understood, since he couldn't even feed himself. After dinner the kids pushed James into the living room, giving Lily time to be by herself and for her to eat her dinner. She was willing to go the extra effort in order to have James home for the holidays, because she knew that he would want to spend time with his family. At least she already had her holiday shopping done and hid the gifts from everyone. Though after the first night she did learn her lesson and tonight when it was James's bedtime she gave him one of the sleeping pills, so that way he wouldn't wake up in the middle of the night scared of his surroundings and that he would be awake before she went to work in the morning, since she missed seeing him this morning when she left.


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Harry Potter.

* * *

A few days later on Christmas Eve Lily was relieved that James was going to be going back to the nursing home in a couple of days so that everything can go back to normal in their home. Though she did love having him home with the family this week, it was just too tiring to work all day and then come home to care for him. She had settled into a routine though for the rest of the week while James was going to stay with them. She was grateful for the help that Mrs. Weasley had provided for James and even being willing to help Remus out with starting dinner as well. She knew that the kids loved having him here, but they couldn't wait to get back to their normal routine. When she got home from work on Christmas Eve she had the kids go with the Weasley kids caroling in various nursing homes again, since not all of the residents are lucky as James to be able to spend time at their family's home, though almost all of them will have visitors to come and visit them on Christmas Day. She was also looking forward to spending some time with Severus since she did invite him over in order to keep him from spending Christmas alone even though he would be at the school for the holidays. Lily only hoped that she was doing the right thing in having him over with James and Sirius here also, but she also wanted to see Severus as well. Lily had finished wrapping all of her Christmas presents when Sirius and Remus had arrived with Harry and Jamie, even her present for Severus was all wrapped and ready to go.

"How did you enjoy going Christmas caroling?" Lily asked the group when they arrived home.

"It was okay and we're already used to what we would see there because of dad," Harry told his mum.

"Yeah and some of the old people liked having us come by," Jamie answered her mum. "Is Remus or Sirius with you?" Lily asked her children.

"Yeah, they're in the kitchen probably getting a snack or something knowing Uncle Sirius," Harry replied.

"That's good, I wonder if they know what time to come by tomorrow, since I just sent Uncle Severus a reminder."

"I'm sure that they do know mum, since you've already told Uncle Remus earlier today."

"I just want to make sure that everything is perfect for tomorrow, since this will be your father's first Christmas home since his accident."

Both Harry and Jamie reassured their mum that everything was going to be perfect for their dad, besides he probably wouldn't notice too much about his surroundings. Lily knew otherwise since she didn't tell her kids about James's night terrors.

"Besides this is his first Christmas in a long time that he'll get to spend the entire day with us instead of a couple of hours at St. Mungo's so he would be thrilled about that, even if we had no Christmas decorations," Harry reminded his mum.

Lily put James to bed earlier that night because she knew that the kids would want to get up earlier the next morning because of Christmas Day. The next day as expected both Harry and Jamie woke Lily up excited about opening up their presents. Of course Lily had to remind them that they had to wait for Remus, Sirius and Severus to come by before they could open their presents. Both Jamie and Harry were dejected at this news, but they realized that their Uncles Remus and Sirius would want to see them open up their presents. Lily went downstairs to James's room to see if he was awake yet and when she saw that he was, she started to get him ready for the day. The kids of course were waiting by the door eager for their guests to arrive so that they could open their presents. As soon as Sirius and Remus came in the front door they were eagerly greeted by Harry and Jamie who wondered what they brought them. Of course they were disappointed that they had to wait for Severus before they could open up their presents when they heard him at the door a few minutes later just coming from Hogwarts. Harry and Jamie eagerly greeted him at the door so that they could get started in opening up their presents. As soon as everyone was settled in the living room, including James the presents were started to be handed out. Of course Harry and Jamie were curious to see what their Uncle Sirius had bought them this year since they knew that he always brought the coolest presents. When the six of them were settled in the living room around the Christmas tree, Lily started to hand out presents to everyone. Of course the kids were pleased with Sirius's present as usual he actually gotten them season tickets along with Lily for the Chudley Canons Quidditch team's upcoming season. Both Harry and Jamie were excited about that present because they both were avid Quidditch fans. Of course Remus always brought the two of them books for Christmas and he even got James a copy of his book on tape, that unbeknown to everyone that he had recorded himself. Severus bought the kids candy from Honeydukes in Hogsmeade and a wizarding chess board set for the two of them to share. Lily had gotten the two of them new outfits and toys for them. Harry and Jamie couldn't wait to play with their new toys while the adults watched them enjoying themselves with their new toys, even James seemed to be interested in watching his children since Lily had moved his wheelchair closer to the Christmas tree before they had opened presents so that he could see the action. Of course Lily had taken pictures of everyone opening up their presents, even Severus since she had gotten him a present this year as well. Severus was surprised to find out that Lily had gotten him a present. James even did get a few presents also even from Severus much to Lily's surprise. Of course once the kids had opened up their presents they couldn't wait to start playing with the toys and putting away the clothes until later. The adults loved watching the children play with their gifts, even Severus. James seemed to even be watching them intently also. After a few minutes, Sirius wanted to know when they were going to eat since he was already hungry. At that question Lily immediately went into the kitchen to lay out their Christmas dinner while Severus followed her into the kitchen.

"Do you need any help with anything?"

"Only to help in setting this food out, since I know that everyone must be hungry now even the kids."

Severus helped Lily in setting out the food, wondering if any of James's friends will help Lily with him since they were his friends. He wondered if he the two of them ever did get married if they would have Christmases like this with everyone over for the holidays and possibly some of their own children. Of course now he had to settle for Lily's friendship knowing that it could even be years before she could be free to marry him. Though he knew now that she loved him almost as much as he loved her, even though she was still married to Potter and had to take their two kids into consideration, plus she is still responsible for Potter's care even if he is now living in that nursing home. He was starting to enjoy these stolen moments that he had with Lily, even though now he was with her family and friends. At least Lily was thoughtful to include him in her family celebration, especially with James here even though he probably wasn't too aware of what was going on around him. He was relieved though that at least he got to spend Christmas with Lily and not at Hogwarts. When the table was set Lily let everyone know that it was time for them to eat and instructed Harry and Jamie to put away their presents for the time being. She then wheeled James into the dining room, where Sirius offered to feed James for Lily since it was Christmas and he knew how special it was to have his friend home for the holidays. Lily seemed to be glad of to have someone else take over the responsibility for once, she can enjoy the holiday meal with her friends and family. Severus was glad that Sirius finally realized that she might need help with James while she enjoyed a family celebration. Of course Severus realized that if James did come home for his birthday again that he would need to do this for Lily, since James was her husband and Sirius and Remus were his friends. He knew that he better treasure every moment that he had with Lily, since they were few and far between since their jobs made it hard for them to get together once a month. He did plan to take her out for dinner for her birthday though in a few weeks, though since he was planning to go with her, Remus and the kids to take James back to the nursing home the next day, where he might receive a present from some well meaning villagers, ironic for someone who had as much money as James to receive a present on Boxing Day like Severus did when he was a child. Sirius wondered what Severus would do if James would ever get better, since he seemed to have feelings for Lily who was still married to James. Though he did enjoy still being included in these family celebrations, since he really didn't have a family to spend the holidays with since he ran away from home.


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter.

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The next morning Severus and Remus arrived at the Potter's house to help Lily to take James back to the nursing home. Both Jamie and Harry were going to go with her to the home this time. Severus was going with them in order to support Lily, while Remus would have extra time to visit with James and help her with the children. When the group of them finally got there, Lily went straight to the front desk where she had to sign James back in and to return any of his unused medication of which he didn't have any. After James was signed back in Lily immediately took him back to his room, where Remus and the kids immediately went with her to help settle James back in. Severus took the chance to look around and noticed that it seemed to be much nicer than St. Mungo's and that James had much more room to move around. He also had the chance to go outside, which he never would have had that chance at St. Mungo's. He did notice that there was also a large living room, where the residents could visit with their friends and family members of which Severus was neither. When Lily came out of James's room and saw him sitting there by the window, she immediately took him by James room where she wanted him to visit with James even though Severus felt that James wouldn't want him to be there. Severus noticed that Sirius wasn't too pleased that he was in James's room or even that he was there at all, of course he wasn't there to see James but only to support Lily. Severus wasn't even sure that James would even know if they were even in the room or that he would even know that they were enemies. Though Severus realized that spending these last few moments with James until they visited him next week were reassuring to them even though James probaly wasn't aware of his surrondings. When it was ready to go, Severus noticed that Lily took a while in saying goodbye to James, noticing the loving look that she had in her eyes when they left James, though she did have the same look for her children. When they were away from the nursing home, it was nearly lunch time so Lily decided to take everyone to McDonalds, since it would be a treat for the kids.

* * *

Lily gave Severus a reassuring smile since she knew that Severus wasn't too fond of the fast food restaurant, but he agreed to eat there for the kids sake and he even thought that it might be entertaining to see how Sirius and Remus would interact with Harry and Jamie inside of the restaurant. Severus also realized that he needed to savor every minute that he was able to spend with Lily, since both of their jobs and other obligations caused them not to be able to see as much of each other that they would like. Severus knew that his absence from the school wouldn't be noticed too much over the holidays, since most of the students went home over the holidays and none of them cared about their professor's personal lives anyway. As soon as the group of them returned to Lily's home, the kids immediately asked to go play over at the Weasleys with their friend. Lily seeing that the kids wanted to spend some time with their friends after spending the morning with their dad. Lily let them go and even had Remus to escort them over there, since she had to clean up after James's visit. While she was cleaning up Severus was helping her, trying to prolong his visit with Lily. He even helped her in finishing cleaning up, which made the job go by faster. Lily wondered if he was needed at the school, though she was glad that she was able to spend more time alone with him since they hardly get to see each other during the school year. Lily was tired of sleeping by herself at night and sometimes she even wished that James was dead so that she could be free to openly date Severus instead of sneaking around with him during the few stolen moments that they had together. It only took Lily a few minutes to clean up after James's visit with his friends and family, so after they were done Severus wondered if Lily would allow him to take her out on an outing. Lily agreed to go out to dinner with Severus, since she knew that Molly would feed the kids and they would get to spend a little bit of extra time with their friends, that they didn't get to see during the holiday. Severus returned to the school, looking forward to an evening out with Lily that evening. Severus immediately decided that he should take Lily to one of the nice restaurants in London that he could afford, since they haven't had time to see each other during this holiday so far. Severus only hoped that since James was now back in the nursing home, that he would be able to spend more time with Lily this week. Severus was sure that he could get away from the school without arousing too much suspicion. Though he really didn't care what the students thought of him anyway. He can go out with a woman if he wanted to, as long as none of the students found out that he was going out with a married muggle born witch who was waiting for her husband to die. He decided that he would take Lily to a nice muggle restaurant in London, where they wouldn't risk being seen by anyone in the wizarding world. Lily on the other hand made plans with Molly to let the kids sleep over at the Weasleys for the night in order to give them a chance to catch up with their friends. With seven kids she understood that Lily needed to have some time to herself and of course Jamie and Harry were excited to spend more time with their friends and even try to catch their friends' older brothers doing something they shouldn't be doing. Lily was relieved that the children were going to sleep at the Weasley's that night, since she didn't have to worry about being back by a certain time from her date with Severus. She was excited when she was getting ready for her date later on that evening.

* * *

When Severus came by to pick her up Lily was looking forward to spending some time away from the kids with Severus. She enjoyed spending time with him after reconnecting with him a few years ago. She never admitted to anyone that Severus was her first love, that she loved him ever since she was nine years old and he was her best friend who originally introduced her to the wizarding world. She enjoyed hearing Severus's stories about his teaching adventures at Hogwarts and Severus loved hearing about her work as a Healer. Lily savored the moment being here with Severus in an environment away from the children where they could be by themselves. After dinner Lily invited Severus back into her home for an after dinner coffee, where the two of them could extend their time together. Lily who was tired of being alone at night and liking Severus, even seeing him as her future husband after James's death if he was willing to wait that long. Lily didn't know where the invitation for Severus to spend the night with her came from, only that she wanted to have him spend the night together where the two of them would just sleep together, and maybe make out a little bit. Lily wasn't too surprised when Severus accepted her invitation, after she offered to loan him one of James's old shirts that she didn't take to the home for him to wear to bed that night. Lily was excited not to have to spend the night alone for the first time in a long time.


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Harry Potter.

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Severus had woken up the next morning wondering why he wasn't back at the school, until he saw Lily sleeping next to him and he remembered the passion filled night that the two of them had had. Severus now understood why the Weasleys had so many children since he had discovered many pleasures last night that he had waited a long time for. When Lily woke up she was surprised to find Severus in her bed, but then she remembered all that they had done together last night remembering what it felt like to be intimate with a man since she hadn't shagged anyone since James's accident. She only wished that she would be able to marry Severus but for now they would have to settle for a few stolen moments. Maybe she can get him to stay with them over Easter and summer break, since that would give him a chance to know Harry and Jamie better plus on the nights before her days off they would have a chance to have a night of lovemaking. That is one thing that Lily had missed since she had went to America with Harry, leaving James behind leaving him to be attacked in their own home. When Lily realized what time it was and that Harry and Jamie would be coming home soon, she was torn about asking Severus to leave since she didn't want them to find out that he had spent the night with them, especially when Remus was going to come over right before she went to work. She worried about his reaction that she now had a boyfriend other than James. Though she had long forgotten the pleasures that being intimate with another human being could be she was reminded of that pleasure the night before, even she didn't plan on being intimate with Severus. Though Lily did offer to let Severus borrow one of James's shirts when he returned to the school, so that it wouldn't appear that he had spent the night with her. As the two of them got ready Severus was already making plans for making her birthday special and even including the kids in the celebration. She only wondered if Severus had anything special planned for her birthday. She knew that if she would then she would ask him to spend the night again with her, since she didn't feel lonely at night with him in her bed. She did plan to ask him to the New Year's party at the Burrow, since Laura had volunteered to watch the kids since Xenophillius was going off to cover the installation of the American magical President for the _Quibbler_ which was a political magazine, that did cover international politics as well as British ones. Though first she invited Severus to take a shower with her before he had to go back to the school and she had to pick up the kids from the Burrow. Severus was interested in sharing another moment with Lily, while wondering when they would get married. She had made plans to go shopping for a nice dress to wear for her birthday later on that week when she had the day off and even going lingerie shopping for the night of her birthday that she had planned to spend with Severus. She knew that the kids and Remus probably had something planned for her that day and she had planned to visit James in the nursing home that day since it was a tradition for them to spend their birthdays together since they had started dating. Now Lily felt torn since she wanted to spend her birthday with James and the kids but with Severus as well, now she felt like this would be a special day for her since she now had a lover. She had almost forgotten what it was like to wake up beside a man in the morning and take a shower with them, she hated to admit it but she had missed the close intimacy that she had with another man. Almost thirty minutes later both her and Severus were dressed and ready to go their separate ways, Lily over to the Burrow to pick up her kids and Severus back to the school.

* * *

When she arrived at the Burrow the kids were reluctant to leave their friends but they were excited since they were going to see their Uncle Remus today and that he was going to spend the entire day with them. Their Uncle Remus was almost as fun as their Uncle Sirius, but he had to work today on the morning shift, which Lily was secretly relieved about. Lily was dreading Sirius's reaction when he heard about hers and Severus's new relationship since he hadn't fully accepted the fact that James's condition is permanent and that he will not get better. Remus would be disappointed but he would understand since he had already accepted James's condition as being permanent, that he would never be able to come home to live with his family like he did before. Hopefully if Sirius ever did find out about her and Severus that he wouldn't try to harm Severus in order to scare him away. When Lily and the kids finally did get to go home, they wanted to let her know about the presents that their friends had received and that they couldn't wait for the Creevy brothers to return from visiting relatives. Lily was glad to hear that they had a good time at the Burrow and glad to have some quality time with them before she went to work. They wanted to know when their Uncle Remus was going to come over to babysit them. "He'll be over at lunchtime when mummy has to go to work, don't you want to spend time with your mum until he comes. We can go out and play for a while until I have to get ready for work."

* * *

Lily enjoyed spending time with her children though she enjoyed the grownup company that she had received from work. She hoped that the kids wouldn't be able to figure out that Uncle Severus had spent the night while they were away since she was afraid of their reaction of their mum having a boyfriend.

A couple of hours later, Lily was getting ready for another long shift at work when Remus showed up to watch the kids. When Lily arrived at work, her coworkers noticed that she seemed different somehow. When asked about it, Lily replied that having a couple of days off did her some good and having James home for the holidays seemed to rejuvenate her. Lily hoped that no one would even guess that she had spent the night with another man in her bed. She wondered what kind of gift she could expect from Severus from her birthday since they are now dating in a strange sort of way. She could barely remember how James had treated her birthdays as something special. She also remembered how her and Severus had always gone out for her birthday after her celebration with her family ever since James's accident. Now she had a man whom she could love and would be able to show his love for her.


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Harry Potter.

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A few weeks later Lily was looking forward to her birthday since she was going to celebrate it with the ones that she loved. She had even invited Severus to come and join the celebration with their family in addition to having their own private celebration later on that evening. She wasn't too suprised when Severus did agree to spend the whole day with the family since Harry and Jamie would become his stepchildren one day. Lily wanted him to be able to spend time with her kids and not just her so that he can start to become a member of their family, even though they did have father figures in Sirius and Remus. Lily knew that she was planning on grooming Severus to take over as head of their family someday instead of putting that pressure on Harry's shoulders as being the oldest child and the Potter heir. She was finally looking forward to her birthday, since she now had Severus who would probably make her birthday extra special by taking her out and spending the night in a hotel room together, but not in the wizarding world in order to avoid gossip. She knew that Severus being seen with her in a romantic setting would put his life in danger though she knew that his spying for the Light side during the last war also put him in personal danger. She also knew Sirius's reaction if he knew that their affair had been recently consumated. She was able to concentrate on her patients all day though since her work fulfilled her as much as her kids did and it helped her keep her mind off the other night where she couldn't wait to see Severus again. She now didn't feel as lonely that she usually did whenever she saw couples either on the street or in hospital. Though she wished that she could take her relationship with Severus public but because of James and with his status as a spy for when Voldemort would return they had to keep their relationship secret. Both her and Severus now regret his involvement as a Death Eater in the last war but now the two of them had to live with that mistake. Lily though felt like she was almost a widow even though her husband was still alive but he was currently living in a nursing home not aware of his surroundings. When she returned home the next morning after her shift she wasn't too surprised to find out that her children were up already since they liked to listen to the children's shows on the wireless but she was surprised to see Sirius there. Lily hoped that he wouldnt' tell if there was a change in her and the reason for that change. Both Jamie and Harry though were excited to have Sirius to come and visit with them since they always had fun with them even when he had to babysit them while Remus was away. She found Remus in the kitchen cleaning up after the kids had their breakfast.

"What is Sirius doing here, he doesn't have to spend all day with them and I'm sure that he has his own life as well?"

"He came by and wanted to spend time with Jamie and Harry, and since I figured that you would be tired after a long shift from work that you wouldn't mind the chance that Sirius is giving you to rest," Remus answered her.

Lily appreciated Sirius's kind offer since she knew that Remus had to work on his next book that was coming out in the next couple of weeks, they were even invited to a book signing where he would sign copies of his book at a muggle bookshop in Surrey. She was almost glad however that Severus was too busy to come to the book signing since Sirius was already having a hard time accepting him into their group. She wondered though if she would run into her sister, since she lived in Surrey the last time that she had heard from her though she doubted that she would even want to read a book written about their world. As far as she knew that Petunia was still married to that Vernon fellow and had a son about Harry's age that she didn't want him to meet. The last time that she had even communicated with her sister was when Harry was a baby warning her that she may need to take in Harry if anything had ever happened to her and James. She only hoped that people would show up to buy his book, since this was his work and his means to support himself once Jamie had gone to Hogwarts and she didn't need his services as a nanny anymore. With the prejudices in the wizarding world against werewolves, writing his books can help Remus to be able to support himself without relying on the charity of others. She did know that he hated to rely on others for anything, though being with Sirius during his transformations did help. This is something that her and the children can do for Remus since they couldn't be animagi like Sirius to help him get through his transformations. They can show up at his book signings even if they were too young to read his books in her opinion. It was important to Remus and therefore she would bring the entire family other than James and Severus for obvious reasons. Besides the kids wanted to see Remus at a book signing instead of just seeing his books in the muggle bookshop. Though she didn't plan on having the kids stay there long since they would probably get bored just watching Remus sit around and signing books all day. Though it would be good for the kids to see that Remus had another job outside of being their nanny all day, since they were old enough to be in primary school all day at this time. They knew that once that they went off to Hogwarts they wouldn't need Remus to be their nanny anymore though he would still be their friend. Lily considered Sirius and Remus to be a part of her family since losing her parents in the first war and her sister not wanting to keep in touch, which she would be less interested in doing now that Lily was dating Severus and that James was in a muggle nursing home. She was almost embarrassed the way that the two of them had treated Petunia when they were growing up, excluding her from their playing because she wasn't like them which caused her to become bitter and hate magic, despising the fact that Lily was a witch and she wasn't though there was nothing that she could do about it since magic was a gift born to someone at birth, like singing or painting. Lily felt that it was too late now to even try to reconcile with Petunia, since too many years had gone by since they had last talked. Of course she probaly wouldn't see her anyway, but it didn't hurt to hope for a reconciliation and Sirius wanted to try to find himself a girl there since he had broken up with his last girlfriend when she started to talk marriage. Lily thought that her experience with James made Sirius gun shy when it came to marriage, but he never liked to be pressured into doing something that he didn't want to do and James was the only one who could talk him into things. Sirius was a loyal friend though and he would do almost anything for his friends and support them in their endeavors, such as Remus's writing. Sirius would also disapprove of Lily's affair with Severus, but she had been faithful to James until now. The truth was that James would probably never get better and she does get lonely sometimes at night and she had started to have feelings for Severus after James's accident that put him in the nursing home in the first place. Lily had already accepted the fact that she was just waiting for James to die and sometimes she even got mad at him for not dying but instead staying in the same state that he was in for as long as he was not even freeing her to marry another man not necessarily Severus. She wanted her children to have a normal life with both mother and father living at home, instead of their father living in a muggle nursing home which she felt that James sometimes had denied them by refusing to die. She did sometimes feel guilty about wishing that her husband would die, but these are different circumstances than normal. There was no one that she could confide in about her loneliness and isolation because of James's condition other than Severus since Remus and Sirius wouldn't understand her feelings about waiting for James to die. Her mother friends Molly and Laura thought that it was great that she was able to bring her kids to visit James in the nursing home but they didn't understand that sometimes she wanted to have a husband that was home with her not spending his last days in a muggle nursing home.


End file.
